


All In

by godamnarmsrace



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: # ed big bang round 1, AU, Aaron is Nineteen, Action, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Aaron Dingle, Broken Robert Sugden, Detective Robert Sugden, Drama & Romance, Emmerdale Big Bang, Emmerdale Big Bang Round 1, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Gen, Gordon is a monster FYI, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Robert Sugden, Liv is only six years old, M/M, No Character Death, Porn with Feelings, Rent Boy Adam, Robert has a best friend, Robert hunts the monsters who hurt children, Temporary homeless Aaron, Uncomfortable language, Watching Someone Sleep, Young Liv, references to child abuse and rape, robron - Freeform, someone gets shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 05:45:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11983407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godamnarmsrace/pseuds/godamnarmsrace
Summary: When Robert and Aaron meet there's an instant attraction, no doubt about it, but nothing can happen, it just wouldn't be appropriate. Robert feels for the lad, who's been on the streets and struggling to take care of his young sister, so he does the decent thing and opens his home to him – gives him a break. Feelings grow, Aaron wants Robert, in more ways than one, in every way really, but Robert is fighting it, he fears becoming one of the monsters he hunts. It's only when things get dangerous, pursuing Gordon has some scary consequences, he begins to realise that you really only get one life; Aaron and Liv are his.





	1. I Dare You To Move

**Author's Note:**

> I had the best cheerleaders in writing this Bubble love right here, I'm so not worthy of your support. 
> 
> Special thanks to the lovely [@blueswinseverytime](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluewinseverytime/pseuds/Bluewinseverytime) and [@smittenwithsugden](http://archiveofourown.org/users/smittenwithsugden/pseuds/smittenwithsugden) for all the reading and re-reading and editing and the like. 
> 
> I was lucky enough to get picked by the most talented and sweetest artist - I'm so glad it was you, [@iwantmessedup](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/)! Her amazing art work for this fic can be found [HERE!](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/post/164928965663/emmerdale-big-bang-all-in-by-godamnarmsrace)
> 
>  
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Written for Emmerdale Big Bang Round #1.
> 
> If you have any questions about triggers etc, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Aaron knew the neighbours had called the cops again, but he didn't want to leave his spot, the fading late afternoon sunlight dappled through the leaves.  It was warm and safe in his tree. The McGrady's didn't mind him being out here, he knew that, but their neighbours were nosy and always convinced he was up to no good.

Aaron just wanted to make sure his little sister was okay. It wasn't like he was hurting anyone, he was just sitting in a tree, and okay, he knew it looked a little suspicious the way he was sitting up here looking in the window just a few feet from the end of the branch he was perched on, but it was completely innocent.  Aaron just wanted to make sure that no one entered his sister's room while she was alone playing or sleeping.

Aaron knew deep down he should stop coming here.

Liv was safe.

The cops kept threatening to charge him, but they couldn't not unless the McGrady's made a formal complaint because the tree was on their property. They were kind people, they'd given Liv what seemed like a safe place to live, a nice room of her own, filled with toys and she was going to school again.  Aaron could see that she was starting to love them and although it hurt to see her making a family with someone who wasn't him, all he wanted was for Liv to be safe and happy.

He knew it was a lie even as he thought it. Yes, he did want all that for Liv, he just wanted to be the one providing it for her. She was the only family he had left, and he was hers.

Hell, the McGrady’s fed him as often as they could and they let him see Liv whenever Aaron wanted.  He knew Mrs McGrady wanted to give him somewhere to stay but their house although two storeys there was minimal space.  

Aaron knew that social services were putting pressure on them too, because they thought Aaron should be kept away from his sister like he hadn’t been the one raising her, clothing her and feeding her for almost three years.  They had fucked up giving Aaron and Liv back to a monster, but still, they looked at Aaron like he was a concern when it came to what was best for Liv.  Like they had any idea and as far as Aaron was concerned social services opinion wasn’t worth much.

But the McGrady's they treated Aaron like he belonged there in their home as much as they could.  They had even insisted he sleep (not that he slept much these days) on Liv's floor when it rained for a week straight last month.  When it was cold, and he refused to come inside, Mrs McGrady made him hot tea and brought him blankets and coats to keep him warm. The McGrady's were good people. He knew it in his bones, but they weren't his family.

Aaron needed to get a job and find a place to call home, and then maybe if he did, they might let Liv stay with him.  He worried that she might not want to go with him and leave the McGrady's, but he still had to try, it was what he wanted, and more importantly, it was what Sandra would have wanted.  They belonged together.  They were family.

And that was all Aaron had left to hold onto tight.

 

Robert was eating a quick dinner with Pete when Pete got a call from his station manager advising him of a possible break and enter not far from his house.

“This kid is busting my balls,” Pete muttered, hanging up the phone.

“What’s up?” Robert asked, curious.

"I know, I said I'd drop you off, but we have to make a stop first.  There's this foster family not far from here who took in a little girl a few months ago, but her brother who's too old for the system keeps hanging around.  Now, the family doesn't care, but the neighbours are always calling us about the kid hanging around.  He's completely harmless; he's just watching out for his sister," Pete explained.

“Why don’t they just send a uniform over there to deal with it?  You’re not gonna charge him, are you?” Robert asked, sounding surprised this time.

Pete put some money on the table to cover their food and shook his head.  “I have a bit of history with the kid so every time the station gets a call about him, they forward it to me.  It's fine, he's a good guy, but I can't leave him there.  I'll probably drop him off at St. Luke's shelter if he lets me."

Pete pulled out his phone again and handed Robert his car keys.  "You wanna go start the car I'm just gonna call Leyla and let her know that I'm going to be late for dinner," Pete said, already dialling.

“Mate, we just ate,” Robert said, with a grin.

"I know, but she doesn't know that," Pete replied, with a smile of his own, as Robert got in the car and started the engine.

"You better be calling to tell me that you're at the end of the street and will be home soon," Leyla said in the way of a greeting.

Pete felt himself grimace.  “Babe...” He got into the passenger seat and gestured for Robert to go straight.

"Don't Babe me," Leyla muttered.  "This is the second time this week that you're gonna miss dinner.  I'm assuming that is the purpose of this call.  Maybe, I should just stop cooking for you.  I work too you know, it's not like I sit around at home all day dreaming about what I'm gonna make you for fucking dinner, you asshole."

"Leyla, I'm sorry. You know I love it when you cook, but I got another call about Aaron, and I still have to drop off Robert.  I'll be home as soon as I can and then we can eat dinner together, okay?" Pete said trying to placate Leyla while trying to ignore Robert’s snort of disbelief.

"Take Robert with you to pick up Aaron," Leyla suggested the sounds of pots banging together in the background.

“I was going to, but why?” Pete asked curiously.  To Robert, he said, “Go left up here.”

"Aaron needs someone to look after him, someone who isn't you and Robert needs someone to care for," Leyla said as if it made complete sense.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked, sneaking a look at Robert out the corner of his eye.

"Yes, now hurry up, or dinner will be fucked," Leyla ordered, before hanging up on Pete.

Robert looked at Pete’s face and started to laugh, Pete assumed he had a disgruntled expression on his face.

“Remind me why I married a lawyer again?” he asked Robert.

With one more sharp bark of laughter, Robert replied simply, “Because you love her.”

Pete let out a deep sigh, “Yeah, there is that about her.”

 

Robert wasn’t smiling anymore.

"The kid needs somewhere to stay, but I can't take him home with me.  If the Captain didn't kick my ass then Leyla would for sure," Pete said, looking at the lanky young man in the back seat of his car.

Robert was looking too. 

He couldn’t quite help himself. 

The kid, you couldn't call him a kid, damn he had more facial hair than Robert.  But the extra beard scruff wasn't what made Aaron look older than he was, but the sadness and experience Robert could see behind Aaron's tired eyes was what did it.  Aaron had clearly seen and experienced things that no one at his age should have to endure.

He should have looked sullen and pissed off at being hauled off by the cops, instead, he looked resigned, and that alone said a lot to Robert.  When Pete had pulled up to the curb, Aaron had climbed down from the tree without being asked and come over to the car.  Hell, he'd even put himself in the back of the car without a word.

“He’s a good kid…just a little messed up and protective of the last little bit of family he has left which is understandable,” Pete said turning to look at Robert.  It sounded like Pete was trying to convince Robert, but he had no doubts just fears when it came to Aaron.  He made Robert want something he knew he couldn’t have and that scared the hell out of him.

"He's not a kid," Robert heard himself mutter, and he felt himself blush as the words left his mouth unconsciously revealing more of his thoughts to Pete than he intended.

“So, you noticed that?” Pete asked, with a quick grin turning to face Robert.

Ignoring Pete's question Robert made a quick decision.  He knew he might come to regret it, fuck he was confident of the fact, but the resignation he saw in Aaron broke Robert's heart a little.

"He can stay with me," Robert offered, trying to sound casual but coming off like he had a frog stuck in his throat.  "But only if he wants to, I'm not going to push him into something he doesn't want to do; I'm sure he's had enough of that already."

“Are you sure?  I mean you won’t get in trouble, right?” Pete asked, sounding both ecstatic with Robert’s offer but also concerned with the possible fallout from it.

"You're not going to arrest him, are you?  And he doesn't have a record, so they can't say anything to me at work.  Wait, he's not a minor, is he?" Robert questioned hoping like hell Aaron was of age because if he wasn't, Robert had more issues than he'd realised. The low thrum of desire that the lad was inspiring in him, already making Robert hate himself a little.

"No, I'm not going to arrest him.  The McGrady's never want to press charges, and until they do he's technically not doing anything wrong, the tree is in their yard.  Carol McGrady has even gone as far as telling me that Aaron is allowed in their tree whenever he wants. But if the neighbours make a call someone’s got to check it out because one day it might not be the kid and it might be a legit call out,” Pete explained, looking back at Aaron in the back of his car.

"I just feel like, with everything that happened with Holly and Adam, I'd hope that someone was looking out for them or that someone at least had tried, you know?" Pete said, reminding Robert of Pete's recent loss.

They both watched for a moment while Aaron pulled at a fray of threads in the knee of his jeans.  The jeans had more holes than denim, and Robert's body was quick to inform him that he liked the little glimpses of tan flesh he could see when Aaron shifted in his seat. When Robert tore his eyes away from Aaron, Pete was looking at him intently, clearing his throat he said, "He's nineteen, just.  He's entirely legal for what it is worth, but he's pretty damaged.  It might be better just to sit this one out Robert, maybe just let him go.  Boss told me that the father abused Aaron, they got returned to him, but Aaron took off again and dragged his little sister behind him."

“What?  You’re fucking kidding me, right?  How the hell did they end up back with a sex offender?” Robert growled, struggling not to raise his voice his body shaking with the urge to hit something.  His job was hard enough without some idiot just handing kids over to sexual predators.

Pete shrugged and looked back at Aaron.  "Someone dropped the ball that's for sure. But the kid never reported the abuse; he just took off. You sure you still want to take him home with you?" he asked, indicating Aaron and his copious amounts of invisible baggage.

Aaron chose that moment to yawn and closed his eyes, sliding his body down so he could rest his head on the back of the seat.  Robert watched the movement with abject horror as Aaron's T-shirt rode up baring a hint of his pale but muscular stomach.

Damn.

It was a bad idea, but Robert wasn't going to back down now.  Aaron needed someone to help him, and Robert couldn't be one more person to let him down just because it might be a little bit hard or scary.

 

Aaron knew the cops were talking about him, but he didn't care.  He had not even really looked at them; he'd just put himself in the car. He supposed he should be glad that it was Detective Barton who had been sent out to deal with him again.  Instead, he just felt like shit.  He was so tired, he just wanted to sleep for like a week, but he was between shelters, and he didn't like letting his guard down enough to actually sleep when he was out on the streets at night.  There were too many sick fucks waiting in the dark.

Aaron knew he could be making enough money to sleep in a warm bed somewhere reasonably safe, but he couldn't bring himself to do what he needed to make that happen.  His friend Adam, his only friend in the world actually, a hustler he'd met his first night sleeping on the streets told Aaron that he would do well in the trade, but Aaron knew that there was no coming back from that, once he crossed that line, he could never go back.

It wasn't so much what he'd have to do, but rather what would happen if he ever got arrested by the cops for soliciting.  His body had been used before, but Aaron would pretty much kiss goodbye to any chance of having custody of Liv one day, and that was what he wanted more than anything else in the entire world.

It just wasn't something he was willing to risk even for a place of his own, somewhere he could be safe; it didn't matter Aaron, was pretty sure that no such place existed without his sister.

Fuck, why did everything have to be taken from him?  He knew it was selfish to look at it in those terms, but everyone seemed to either leave him or be taken away without there being anything he could do to stop it.

Aaron was just so fucking tired sometimes, he thought if it weren't for Liv he'd walk out in front of a bus because without her he just didn't care anymore. He'd never do it though; he didn't have a death wish just a great desire to have a family and a safe place to call his own. He wished he could remember more than just what his mother's face looked like when she cried, but he didn't. He had no happy childhood memories of a happier time and family meals in the kitchen. Just pain and death, the only bright star was Liv.

He remembered when she was born. He hated her at first because that was when Gordon started coming into his room at night.

She had just been a baby, but she'd stolen Sandra's full attention, and suddenly Aaron had no one to check for monsters under his bed. It didn't matter; the only monster he feared anyway much preferred being in bed with him.

Liv was a force of nature though, and as soon as she could move on her own, she spent all her time following Aaron around. It wasn't long before she babbled nonsense constantly and her first word was ‘Ron.' He wanted to keep hating her, but she wouldn't let him.

He was lucky for that; she had kept him sane and kept his heart whole.

Closing his eyes, he shifted in the back-seat of the car and tried to make himself comfortable, as this might very well be the last chance he’d have for a while to be safe enough to he let his guard down, and get some rest. Detective Barton would keep him safe.

 

Aaron woke with a start, sitting up too fast and smashing his head on the window of the car.  Disorientated for a second, he struggled to remember where he was. He looked around, but the neighbourhood was upmarket and unfamiliar to him. He had never been to this part of London before.

“Hey, kid it's okay.  You’re safe,” Detective Barton’s voice rang out in the car, bringing Aaron back to who he was with but not where they were.

“Where are we?” Aaron asked with a yawn, feinting disinterest, but his eyes roamed the large polished houses lining the street they were on.

“My place,” a second voice replied, drawing Aaron’s attention to the other cop.

Holy hell.  Aaron had never seen such a beautiful fucking guy in his whole life.  And he wasn't even just pretty he was fucking outstanding and smoking hot.

The guy had fucking freckles.

Embarrassed Aaron felt his dick harden for the first time in months, he said nothing at first but slumped back down into the seat hoping to hide his boner.

“Who the hell are you?” Aaron asked, a few moments later, sounding a little more bitchy and sullen than he'd intended.

“My name is Robert.  I'm a friend of Detective Barton's.  I'm also a cop, well a detective,” Robert introduced himself to Aaron with a small smile.

“Let’s get out of the car, shall we?” Detective Barton suggested.

Feeling defensive and unsure of what was going on Aaron bit his lip before asking, “Why?”

 

“I thought maybe if you wanted you could stay here for a while.  At my place, I mean.  But only if you want,” Robert offered, turning in his seat to look at Aaron.

The blank look that Aaron gave him made Robert feel foolish for even suggesting it.  The kid probably thought Robert was just another dirty old pervert. Looking back at him, Robert couldn’t help feeling like one, after all, he was so attracted to this kid. It didn't even make any sense. Aaron wasn't even his type, and he was way too young. No, Robert just needed to stop thinking about him like he was an attractive man and go back to thinking of him as a troubled kid, it was a lot safer and smarter.

This was such a mistake.

Robert felt like an ass, but he had no idea what to say.  Aaron was clearly freaking out, but the truth was the full force of Aaron's attention on Robert had Robert struggling to breathe let alone form actual sentences.

“I'm offering you a warm bed and somewhere to sort everything out, with no strings,” Robert said eventually, trying to make Aaron feel more comfortable with the idea.  The last thing he wanted to do was make Aaron feel uncomfortable.  “I know a little something about what you've been through, but it has to be your choice Aaron, no one is going to force you to do something you're not comfortable with.”

 

Aaron didn't know what to say or what to think.  The thought of sleeping in a warm bed was a welcome one, but he was a little concerned about what Robert would want in return. No strings? Sure right.

Aaron had never met anyone who didn’t want something from him.

Aaron couldn't lie to himself; he wanted Robert, his erection confirmed that but it would still be wrong to do something with Robert in exchange for shelter, right? It would still be kind of like prostitution, right?

And maybe, he was wrong. Maybe Robert had no other motive than to help out someone who needed it.  Maybe Robert was one of those rare people who actually just did nice things because they could and not for what they could get for themselves.

And maybe Aaron was just making excuses because he wanted to fuck Robert.  The idea of whoring for Robert wasn't actually something that was abhorrent to Aaron, but rather he could very easily see himself naked and spread beneath Robert's thrusting body.

He cleared his throat and pulled his hoodie down so that he could hide the effect his thoughts were having on his cock. He wasn't familiar with these kinds of feelings. To be honest, he'd kind of thought his dick was broken. It had never really shown any interest before now.

He’d thought Gordon had broken him. If nothing else he had Robert to thank for the realisation that Gordon hadn’t stolen everything from him.

This could be his choice, and although he was scared the prospect of having someone like Robert interested in him, he might just be a little too hard to say no to.

 

The poor kid looked like someone had just offered to chop his balls off.  Fuck!  Robert didn't want to scare him.  “There are no strings attached to my offer Aaron.  I just know you're having a rough time and I want to help you if I can,” Robert tried to explain.

He opened his door and got out of the car, Pete following his lead.  Robert thought that maybe Aaron needed a moment.

“I think I just freaked him out,” Robert said to Pete.

“I think he just needs a minute.  He's been living on the street for the better part of a year give him a few minutes,” Pete said somewhat wisely.

“Does he have any other possible guardians?” Robert asked, unable to take his eyes off Aaron.  He was in such deep shit.

"Step mother's dead. There's a biological mother somewhere, but she left when he was seven. Because he's nineteen and she's not Liv's mum, no one has been looking too hard for her. I mean, Aaron doesn't remember much about her. His birth records were lost in a fire. He doesn't even remember her name just that she was pretty and she used to sing him to sleep and cry a lot, this kid is breaking my heart Robert, he needs a break," Pete said with a deep sigh.

 

Fuck it! Aaron thought.  It was a warm bed with the possibility of sleeping with a really hot guy.  Adam would kick his ass if he turned down Robert's offer.

Rolling down his window, Aaron looked up at Robert.  “Okay.  Thanks,” Aaron said, his decision made.

“Liv will be fine,” Detective Barton said when Aaron remained in the car.  It wasn't that he was scared to get out, it was just that his cock was still embarrassingly hard.  What with the way Robert was giving Aaron his full attention.  Aaron had never before been privileged with such wanted attention.

“Do you have any stuff that we need to pick up for you?” Robert asked.

“I have a couple of things stored at a friend's place.  He's been keeping them safe for me, but I can get them tomorrow,” Aaron replied.

“We should head inside then, so I can show you around.  I know Pete, I mean Detective Barton needs to get going before his wife sends him to bed without any dinner,” Robert said with an easy grin, making Aaron's insides feel all twitchy.

“You're married?” Aaron asked Pete before he could stop himself.

Pete smiled at him.  “Actually, it's worse than that...I'm married to a lawyer.  She’s a family court lawyer; she might be able to help you get custody of your sister.  I'll ask her if she can look at your case when I get home if she's not too pissed at me for being late," Pete said.

"Really?" Aaron asked surprised by yet another offer of help.

“Sure, why not?  You seem like a good kid Aaron,” Pete answered honestly.

“The system screwed you and your sister Aaron.  It's probably way past time for it to give you a chance,” Robert said.

Aaron followed Robert out of Pete’s car and just stood looking up at the house in front of him. It was huge.

 


	2. Let Me Help You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Robert and Aaron meet there's an instant attraction, no doubt about it, but nothing can happen, it just wouldn't be appropriate. Robert feels for the lad, who's been on the streets and struggling to take care of his young sister, so he does the decent thing and opens his home to him – gives him a break. Feelings grow, Aaron wants Robert, in more ways than one, in every way really, but Robert is fighting it, he fears becoming one of the monsters he hunts. It's only when things get dangerous, pursuing Gordon has some scary consequences, he begins to realise that you really only get one life; Aaron and Liv are his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the best cheerleaders in writing this Bubble love right here, I'm so not worthy of your support. 
> 
> Special thanks to the lovely [@blueswinseverytime](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluewinseverytime/pseuds/Bluewinseverytime) and [@smittenwithsugden](http://archiveofourown.org/users/smittenwithsugden/pseuds/smittenwithsugden) for all the reading and re-reading and editing and the like. 
> 
> I was lucky enough to get picked by the most talented and sweetest artist - I'm so glad it was you, [@iwantmessedup](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/)! Her amazing art work for this fic can be found [HERE!](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/post/164928965663/emmerdale-big-bang-all-in-by-godamnarmsrace)
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Written for Emmerdale Big Bang Round #1.
> 
> If you have any questions about triggers etc, please don't hesitate to contact me.

It was the kind of house that Aaron had seen in magazines as a kid.

"Are you sure you're a cop?" he asked, as he waited for Robert to let them into the house.

"I inherited some money," Robert said, with a small shrug.

"This isn't just some money this is lifestyles of the rich and famous money," Aaron answered, as he stepped into the entrance hallway. It was a conscious effort on his part not to let his jaw hang open.

"I guess. I invested and well, it turns out I'm good at it," Robert said sounding both cocky and bashful at once drawing Aaron's eyes to his handsome face.

"Why are you still a cop then? Why not just retire? Why are you not rolling around in your money surrounded by beautiful women?" Aaron asked. "How many bedrooms does this place have anyway?"

Robert let out a small chuckle. "It's a bit much, right? I let my sister talk me into it, and I guess if I'm honest I wanted to show it off, let everyone know how clever I was. I used to be kind of shallow," Robert explained, not sounding the least little bit embarrassed by his confession.

"Used to be?" Aaron asked, feeling way out of his depth. Robert was caviar, and fine wine and Aaron was a burger and chips. "What am I even doing here, Robert?"

"You're here because I invited you and because it will be pleasant to have some company. It gets somewhat lonely banging around on my own here. To be honest, I almost put this place on the market at least once every two months, but something always stops me. No one needs this much space for one person. Six. There are six bedrooms, and seven bathrooms and half of those have never even been used," Robert said leading Aaron into the large living room. "And to answer your other question, I like to keep my wads of cash in the bank like every other respectable gentleman.”

Aaron noticed Robert didn't mention anything about rolling around with beautiful women. Robert was hard to get a read on, and there were very few clues in his home to tell Aaron what kind of guy he was putting his trust in.

"It doesn't even look like someone lives here," Aaron said, looking around at the pristine furnishings and having trouble imagining himself relaxing on the couch with his feet resting on the coffee table.

"I have a cleaner who comes once a week, she is a miracle worker but I actually only use about ten percent of the house. You can go where ever you want, except my office. I often bring home active case files, and I can't let anyone but me have access to them.  Please help yourself to anything you need, okay? Come on, I'll show you the kitchen, the bedrooms, and the pool," Robert said, turning and leaving the room not waiting to see if Aaron was following him or not.

Aaron took one last look around the fancy lounge room and hurried after Robert; he wondered if there was one of those 'you are here maps' he could use if he got lost.

"Wait did you just say pool?" Aaron asked, and Robert just laughed in response.

When Robert led him into the large open plan kitchen and breakfast area, Aaron was relieved to see it looked more like a home in here and less like a showroom.

"I like to cook," Robert said, by way of explaining why this room looked lived in unlike the rest of the house.

"I like to eat," Aaron offered, as his tummy conveniently let out a loud rumble announcing its desire for food.

"I'll feed you once I show you where you'll be sleeping," Robert replied, once again leaving Aaron behind with no choice but to follow or be lost.

Up a double-wide set of stairs, Robert gestured to one end of the landing and said "There are three bedrooms down that way, but the master is here along with two other bedrooms and the ones here both have ensuite bathrooms. I thought you could have one and Liv the other. Maybe if we can get Liv's social worker to agree, then we could have a trial run with Liv spending the night here with you."

Robert nodded to the closet room and said, "That one is all pinks and lavender, very little girl and we can always add some stuff to make it more kid friendly."

Aaron stepped forward and opened the door looking at the room in question. "Very little girl indeed, if the little girl in question was a princess or something."

"Isn't Liv a princess?" Robert asked, with another of his kind smiles that kept throwing Aaron.

"She'd love it, but I don't know if it's a good idea to introduce her to something quite like this, I mean this is never gonna be our lives. If I can even get custody and I manage to get a job and find us somewhere safe to live it would never be anything like this place. This place is a dream, a fantasy and I learned a long time ago how harsh reality could be," Aaron said pulling the door closed.

He wanted to look at Robert, but instead, he forced himself to open the door to the room Robert had indicated he could use.

"Aaron, I know that this is a lot to take in, but I meant it when I said I was going to help you. I'm not planning on kicking you and your sister out into the street the minute you get custody. You can stay here for as long as you want. If that isn't what you want, I'll help you find somewhere nice and safe where you can be a family with Liv again," Robert's words startled him, he didn't realise that he'd followed Aaron into the large bedroom done in greys and blacks.

It was nice, if not a little cold, but Aaron felt safe with Robert standing near which was completely insane they'd just met. Aaron knew literally nothing about him except, that he was a cop, that he was friends with Detective Barton, he liked to cook, and he had boatloads of cash. Aaron needed to be more careful.

Aaron turned to look at the man who seemed to be offering him safety and all he'd ever wanted and needed the past few years and all he could want for the future. Robert was looking at him like he was worth something, worth the trouble he'd surely invited by bringing him and all his baggage into his home.

Aaron didn't know what to say, it was almost too good to be true, but he was aware that Robert meant every word he said, it was written all over his face, and Aaron just felt it, but he didn't know how to respond. He'd had so much shit happen to him; he'd met real monsters and knew that nightmares didn't just happen while you slept. Here was Robert, looking so earnest and determined and Aaron didn't know that he'd ever be the kind of person who would deserve such attention from another human being. He was after all tainted.

The rest of the tour went by in a blur for Aaron because he couldn't tear his eyes off Robert.

Who was Robert Jacob Sugden?

The house and who he seemed to be at war with each other. Their appearance in a large room that housed an indoor lap pool and home gym distracted Aaron for a few minutes but Robert was asking him if he ate meat and if he thought he could make his way back to kitchen pulled Aaron's attention back to Robert.

"I'll come with you," he said waiting for Robert to take the lead. Aaron couldn't help but admire the way Robert's jeans hugged his arse. He found himself thinking about another piece of meat he’d like to nibble on if Robert would let him.

The twinge of initial desire that Aaron had felt for Robert in the car returned with a vengeance and Aaron had to give his cock a hard squeeze as he climbed onto one of the stools in the kitchen.

Watching Robert, cook was a thing of beauty, not because he did anything fancy but rather because he seemed to take such pleasure in it. Aaron wondered what else might make Robert moan with pleasure.

 

Robert was having fun, which was a sobering thought. Yes, it was nice having someone in his house, making it feel like a home for the first time since he moved in. Someone to make a meal for even if it was just steak and veg, but Robert needed to keep in mind that it was a temporary thing.

Aaron wasn't his anything. Just someone who needed a break and Robert had the means and the desire to help change his life. In his line of work, it was often way too late to fix anything. Not that he wanted to fix Aaron, he just wanted for once, to see that the monsters that haunted his dreams didn't always win, that this beautiful young man in front of him could survive and flourish despite the evil that had been forced on him as a child.

Oil hissed and splattered on the grill, a splash getting him on his knuckles as he laid their steaks on the heat, bringing him out of his thoughts. Robert almost put his hand on the grill plate to stop the burst of want that flooded through him at the sight of Aaron biting at his lips, hooded desire looking back at him from Aaron's eyes.

Not sure what had prompted the switch in the atmosphere between them. Robert wanted to pull Aaron up and across the island and take over the task of plumping up Aaron's lips under his own teeth, eager to taste him.

Robert broke their shared gaze and pressed hard on the burn on his knuckles, grounding himself, forcing his need back and his common sense forward. Whatever had just happened between them, wasn't real. It couldn't happen. Robert wouldn't let it.

Clearing his throat, he said, "Dinner will be ready soon," just to break up the silence, to stop himself from asking Aaron to strip for him and waiting to see if he would.

God, what the fuck was wrong with him?

Nothing like this had ever happened to him before.

Aaron was vulnerable. Still, more of a kid than an adult and Robert wasn't going to be one more person to teach him that people couldn't be trusted.

Robert knew that most of the village he'd grown up in still thought he was a fuck up, and a waste of space but he wasn't about to prove them right.

Aaron wasn't going to be his downfall, and Robert was going to make sure that no one ever hurt him again, even if he had to protect Aaron from himself.

Aaron looked confused, and Robert realised his tone had become hard and unyielding.

"Do you have a phone I can use? I try and ring Liv at bedtime every day, and my battery is flat. I don't have my charger with me," Aaron said all longing looks gone from his eyes, his tone unsure and tentative, like a puppy wanting a pat and expecting a smack on the nose.

Robert pulled his iPhone out of his pocket and unlocked it, before passing it across the counter to Aaron. Their fingers touched briefly, and Robert forced himself not to meet Aaron's gaze, but not quite able to ignore the sparks that zipped between them.

Rational explanation and self-preservation had him saying, "Static electricity" with a shrug.

He could feel Aaron's eyes on him as he turned his attention to the task at hand, making them a simple dinner full of protein and vitamins.

 

After dinner, Robert showed Aaron the cinema room and how to use the equipment there, before leaving him to go and shower off the day.

The water beat down on him slowly pulling tension from his tall frame. This shower was one of his favourite things in the whole house, the multiple jets, streaming water against his naked body from various directions never failed to relax him at the end of a hellish day.

But for the first time, it wasn’t lost on Robert that this was a shower made for a couple, for lovers, perfect for fucking and he couldn't stop himself from imagining Aaron in the shower with him. He hated himself for every thought of Aaron on his knees, taking Robert inside his mouth, of Robert returning the favour pushing Aaron's wet body down on the conveniently located shower bench and swallowing him down.

His hand gripping his cock hard, stripping strokes pulling guttural moans unbidden from Robert and he tried, he tried to switch Aaron's face out with someone else's. The cute girl from records who was always flirting with him, the guy who makes his coffee in the morning and always writes his number on Robert’s cup, even his ex but each face slipped from his mind even as he thought of it and was replaced with Aaron's eager one.

Fuck, he was gonna go to hell for this, but a fantasy couldn't hurt anyone right? Aaron never had to know that it was thoughts of entering his tight body that sent Robert over the edge, his grip on the wall of the shower the only thing keeping him on his feet. Switching the water from hot to cold, Robert shuddered with aftershocks of pleasure and wondered how the hell he was gonna be able to even look the kid in the eyes in the morning.

Robert needed to get laid and soon.

That's all this was, Aaron had unwillingly shown his reaction to Robert, and he was letting that innocent inexperience seduce him.

He was a better person than this. His cock did not rule him, he was a grown fucking man, and he could control his needs. He would control them.

Robert turned off the shower and was careful to keep his ministrations brief to keep from getting him riled up again with thoughts of Aaron only a few doors away.

No one needed to know that he towel dried himself with thoughts of the elderly busy body of the village from his childhood filling his mind to keep himself in check.

 

Aaron waited until Robert went into the shower before he stripped off his clothes and climbed onto his bed. He put himself between the sheets before realising that it probably would be more seductive to have his body in full view.

Adam's response to his earlier text gave Aaron the courage to arrange himself on Robert's bed instead of in it.

The longer he waited for Robert to emerge from the bathroom the more nervous he got, what was keeping him?

Aaron had never felt so scared in his whole life.  Not when the police came to tell him that Sandra was dead, not even when they took them back to Gordon and not when he was on the run with Liv.

He felt cold and suddenly so very naked.

Okay, so he was actually naked, but he felt...what was the word he was looking for...vulnerable.  He felt vulnerable.

He waited, trying not to lose his nerve.  He wanted this.  He did.  Robert was a worthy choice for his first time, and it would be his first time. The first time that he chose.  Robert was smoking hot and sweet.  He seemed like a really nice guy, for a cop.

And this wasn’t some back alley or rent by the hour motel room.

Aaron wanted this, he did.  He was just a little afraid that Robert didn't.  Maybe, he'd read the signs wrong.  Perhaps, he'd only seen what he wanted to see. 

No, Robert wanted him. Aaron had seen it down in the kitchen, Robert had wanted him, wanted Aaron.

Aaron couldn’t believe it was even possible for someone like Robert to want anything to do with him, but Robert was different, this was different. Aaron could tell.

Aaron was so shocked that his cock was hard,. It was still hard.  It had never gone soft.  Robert seemed to have that effect on him. His state of semi-arousal such a foreign thing for him.

Aaron couldn't stop freaking out over what was to come, about what was about to happen even though he wanted it more than he'd wanted anything for a really long time.  It had been so long since he'd wanted something that was just for himself.  So, long since he'd wanted anything that didn’t involve what was best for Liv.

Even though he was scared out of his mind, he wanted this, wanted something for himself that no one was forcing on him and that no one could take away from him.

Aaron heard the shower turn off and he knew that he still had a few seconds to leave and get dressed and act as if this had never happened if that was what he wanted.

He didn’t want to leave.

He stretched out and made himself relax.

This was it.

He was going to finally know what wanting should feel like.

 

Robert walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and one around his shoulders.  He was drying his hair, so he didn't notice Aaron on his bed at first.

When he did notice him, Robert's first thought was about how could he have possibly missed him.  Spread out as he was, naked on Robert's bed.

Beautiful. Aaron was beautiful.

Robert felt his cock start to rise under his towel.

He was everything Robert had always wanted but never let himself have. The very thing his father had battered him for and Robert would bear that burden of pain over and over if it meant he could touch the image in front of him if he could taste if he could keep Aaron in his bed like this.

He had to be imagining it.

He’d thought about it in the shower, hating himself even as he’d jerked his cock.

Aaron couldn't really be naked on his bed.  Robert tried to think of something else.  Anything else to stop from seeing Aaron naked and spread out on his bed the way he was, clearly the hand-job in the shower had done very little for making his cock uninterested in his new houseguest.

“If you want me I'm yours,” Aaron spoke finally, shattering Robert’s carefully constructed illusion that this couldn’t actually be happening for real.

Fuck!

Aaron was really here. Naked.  Offering himself to Robert and Robert so very badly wanted to take him up on it.  He wanted to say yes.  He wanted Aaron.  And yet, he knew he couldn't.  It wouldn't be right.  Aaron had been used enough without Robert joining the list of people who wanted something from Aaron, that they should not have taken.

Clenching his fists to stop himself from reaching out to touch the tempting offering Aaron made, Robert shook with restraint and how much he wanted him.

“Aaron...no,” Robert said, backing up until his back hit the wall.  Trying to put as much space between himself and the attraction of Aaron as possible.

"Why?" Aaron asked, rolling onto his back stroking a hand down his chest till he reached the sweetest cock Robert had ever seen.  It was long and thick, and it made Robert's mouth water with the urge to suck it down.

He'd underestimated the beauty and heft of Aaron's cock in the shower, and he wanted.

“We can't,” Robert tried to argue, but the sight of Aaron gripping his own cock almost had him relenting.  “Aaron, why are you doing this?” Robert asked, trying to look anywhere but where Aaron's hand was stroking his cock.

“I want to, you know with you. I know you want this too.  I'll make it so good for you.  I’ll be so good. I promise,” Aaron said on a moan.

Robert couldn't breathe, his chest was tight, and he was fast becoming dizzy from both the lack of oxygen to his brain and the fact that all the blood in his body was currently rushing towards his groin. There was something about Aaron's words that pulled at Robert, but the vision in front of him was such a distraction, and it was taking everything he had to hold himself back from taking Aaron up on his invitation.

He couldn't stop himself from staring at Aaron's hard cock.  It was a thing of beauty.

‘You can have me for free.  I’m yours, any way you want me,” Aaron had said without hesitation.

And there it was, Aaron's offer of a free go, gave Robert the strength to pull himself together. Like he’d been doused in a bucket of ice cold water, Robert shook his head, and said, “No Aaron.  I don't want this from you.  I think it would be best if you left and went to your own room.”

The idea that Aaron thought he had to prostitute himself to Robert made him feel a little ill and more than a little distressed that Aaron would think so low of both himself and Robert. He hated himself more than a little bit because he wanted it too, wanted to call Aaron back and take him up on his offer and he knew exactly what kind of a bastard that made him.

Robert knew that a quick fuck would do neither of them any good and possibly cause all the harm in the world, even as he saw the shame on Aaron’s face, Robert knew he was making the right choice.

 

Aaron was so fucking embarrassed.  He was so sure that Robert had wanted him and yet he'd turned Aaron down without any thought.  Could he really have read the situation so badly?

Robert looked horrified to find Aaron in his bed, at first Aaron had thought he was just trying to be a good guy and make sure it was what Aaron wanted but his rejection was like a knife and Aaron couldn’t bring himself to look at Robert again.

Maybe, Robert was straight, or maybe he just wasn't attracted to Aaron.  Whatever the case, Aaron was mortified by his actions and Robert's reaction to them.

He had to get out of there. Not sparing Robert a glance he gathered up his discarded clothes as quick as he could and ran out of Robert’s bedroom and into his own, slamming the door behind him.

There was nothing else to do but get his life sorted out so that he could leave and put his embarrassment behind him. He wanted just to go, run away and hide somewhere he could recover from his wounds of Robert's rejection but he wouldn't because he needed to be stronger than that for Liv. She needed Aaron to start making smart choices, even if they hurt like hell.

A sob broke free from Aaron's chest, and he tried to fight it but he couldn't, tears flooded down his face as he climbed into the big lonely bed that would be his for as long as he wanted, but it was all Robert was offering, and Aaron wanted more. He felt so stupid he was acting as though he'd just had his heart broken. It was crazy for him to be so hurt and so embarrassed. He barely knew Robert.

Robert wasn't anything to him but a helping hand and the quicker he got that through his thick head, the better off he'd be.

He should know better. People like him didn't get what they wanted; they were lucky to get what they needed. There would never be a happily ever after for Aaron, and the sooner he grew up and left any fantasies of Robert wanting him for anything other than a chance to be the hero good Samaritan, the better off he'd be.

Fuck! How was he ever going to face Robert again?

For one second, one brief moment Aaron had been sure that Robert was going to come over to where Aaron had been lying on the bed, and just take everything Aaron had been offering and then some.

And fuck!  Aaron punched his pillow and wished that he had.  Aaron burned with the need to feel Robert's hands on his body. He needed to know what it felt like to be touched by someone he desired.

His life sucked arse and not in a good way.

Tomorrow he’d start sorting his life out so that he could be out of Robert’s hair as soon as possible.

Oh, god, the poor guy was probably so uncomfortable right now.

Even in the darkness of the cold grey room, Aaron knew his face was burned red with his humiliation.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main Fanfic Title from the song 'All In' by Lifehouse.  
> Chapter Title from the song (I can't remember LOL - will edit when I do).


	3. I've Fallen Harder Than A Landslide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Robert and Aaron meet there's an instant attraction, no doubt about it, but nothing can happen, it just wouldn't be appropriate. Robert feels for the lad, who's been on the streets and struggling to take care of his young sister, so he does the decent thing and opens his home to him – gives him a break. Feelings grow, Aaron wants Robert, in more ways than one, in every way really, but Robert is fighting it, he fears becoming one of the monsters he hunts. It's only when things get dangerous, pursuing Gordon has some scary consequences, he begins to realise that you really only get one life; Aaron and Liv are his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the best cheerleaders in writing this Bubble love right here, I'm so not worthy of your support. 
> 
> Special thanks to the lovely [@blueswinseverytime](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluewinseverytime/pseuds/Bluewinseverytime) and [@smittenwithsugden](http://archiveofourown.org/users/smittenwithsugden/pseuds/smittenwithsugden) for all the reading and re-reading and editing and the like. 
> 
> I was lucky enough to get picked by the most talented and sweetest artist - I'm so glad it was you, [@iwantmessedup](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/)! Her amazing art work for this fic can be found [HERE!](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/post/164928965663/emmerdale-big-bang-all-in-by-godamnarmsrace)
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Written for Emmerdale Big Bang Round #1.
> 
> If you have any questions about triggers etc, please don't hesitate to contact me.

It took ages for Robert to fall asleep.

He couldn't stop thinking about Aaron, and it didn't help that when he climbed into bed, all he could smell was Aaron, like he'd rolled around in Robert's sheets. Aaron's scent clung to everything. Instead of stopping the torture and stripping the bed and remaking it with fresh linen, Robert just burrowed down and let the ghost of Aaron in his bed follow him into slumber.

He woke in the morning, with a cock harder than he could remember it ever being in the past and hints from his dreams held on tight to him as he fought for consciousness.

Today was another day; he'd already arranged with Pete to speak to Leyla today on behalf of Aaron, to get the ball rolling on getting Aaron custody of Liv.

Robert had planned on waking up and cooking them both breakfast, then taking Aaron with him to see Leyla, and then to pick up anything of Aaron’s that he might need from his friend’s place. But now he just wanted to get dressed and get out of the house before Aaron woke up. He had no desire to continue their awkward dance from the night before.

He was a coward. If he was honest with himself, he wasn't sure if he would be able to keep turning Aaron down.

So, Robert left him a note and some cash.

 

Aaron didn't know if he should wait until Robert left for the day before going downstairs or not, but then the choice was made for him when the doorbell rang. Aaron heard the front door open and shut in quick concession. Curious he moved over to the window in his room and looked down into the front yard in time to see Robert looking handsome in a dark burgundy blazer and Jeans, take the pretty girl waiting for him in his arms and kiss her on the cheek. Aaron watched on as Robert ushered her to her car, with one more peck on the cheek, Robert had her get back in the car, much to the woman’s displeasure if her expression was anything to go by.

Girlfriend?

She must be. Who else could she be and why was Robert so obviously trying to keep them from meeting?

She was pretty; beautiful if you liked that sort of thing. Aaron tried to ignore the irrational bitterness that filled him at the sight of her.

Obviously, it would be hard to explain who Aaron was, how was Robert meant to introduce him? This is Aaron, I gave him a place to stay, and he climbed into my bed naked. Yeah, super awkward.

Robert turned and looked back at the house, Aaron ducked out of view, hiding. When he looked back, Robert was getting into her car.

Yeah, okay, Aaron was a coward.

 

Adam was no help at all.

“You're just pissed because he turned you down,” Adam muttered, flicking his cigarette into the street.

"It's not even about that; I just don't know what he wants from me.  What he's doing for Liv and me, it is just so much.  There is no reason for Robert to open his home to me, I can't understand why he would put himself out in such a way without getting something in return," Aaron tried to explain. "No one is that nice."

“I thought you liked the guy,” Adam replied, rubbing his hands up and down his bare arms clearly cold in just his tank top and Jeans.

"I do.  Robert seems like a good guy, but nothing is free," Aaron answered.

“Aaron, my man, you are preaching to the choir so to speak, no one knows price tags better than I do, but maybe he's the real deal.  An actual nice guy, who wants nothing more than to be there for you,” Adam suggested, jumping up and down on the spot.

“Mate, why don't you just put some more clothes on?” Aaron questioned puzzled by his friend's bizarre behaviour.

“Nah, customers like to see what they're buying,” Adam revealed.

“And what they're seeing is shrinking by the second,” Aaron pointed out.

“Bite me.  Do you want my words of wisdom or not?” Adam bitched, lighting another cigarette.

Aaron let out a frustrated sigh. He couldn’t get the note Robert had left for him out of his head, the idiot thought he could fix Aaron’s life. He probably just wanted to get rid of Aaron as soon as he could now that Aaron had made it weird between them.  “Yes. No. I don't fucking know,” he groaned out after a second of consideration.

"Well, I'm going to give them to you anyway because you clearly need help.  You need to fuck Robert or get him to fuck you, whatever floats your boat and then you need to let yourself get knocked up, so that Robert will look after your tight arse until it is old and used and no one wants it anymore," Adam suggested sagely.

Aaron let out a snort of disbelief.  “What the fuck are you smoking and where can I get some?” he asked.

"Okay, I know it's not a situation based in much reality, but you have to see where I'm coming from, look at the pop culture references I've got to draw from, we have 'Pretty Woman' and 'Sponge Bob Square Pants.'  Robert could be your Richard Gere," Adam tried again.  Sounding excited now. "I mean he's old, and you said he's loaded, right?"

"That's great, disturbing utterly unhelpful but great.  Last time I checked I wasn't a hooker and Robert wasn't some hard up old dude.  I'm pretty sure he has got a very sexy girlfriend, she's stunning really, so I think my arse is the last thing on his mind," Aaron said, thinking about the hot woman who'd stopped by the house this morning. Watching them from his window like a stalker, he'd felt a pang near his heart when Robert had brushed a kiss against her cheek before getting into a car with her and driving away.

He'd known the guy for a total of two days, the feelings he was having were completely insane and ridiculous. They didn't know each other at all and Robert owed Aaron nothing. Aaron was pretty sure he'd read Robert wrong last night and that the poor guy had been shocked as hell to find another man naked in his bed. "I probably scarred him for life."

“I wouldn't be so sure but let's say you're right and Robert has a girlfriend, he isn't a freak or a sexual pervert, and he doesn’t want anything but to help you...yeah, you're right he's a monster.  Quick!  Run while you still can.  Don't be an idiot, fuck his arse and do it now.  Make him so hot, he can't think of anything but your sweet hole and being buried balls deep inside it.  You’ll be set for life,” Adam suggested.

“You forget the part where he's straight,” Aaron interjected, disappointment filling him.

“Minor detail.  Completely unimportant,” Adam argued. “Besides he could be bisexual.”

“He could be but he doesn’t want me, Adam, he made that more than clear last night,” Aaron said, wondering if he could talk Adam into getting out of the cold and going to get a cup of coffee with him.

 

Aaron stayed away for as long as he could, and it was dark when he finally returned home, but he didn't want to be weak.  He was stronger than this, so he'd made a fool of himself. He needed to get over it and forget about it.

He could ignore his attraction to Robert and just use this time to get his life back together. Robert just wanted to help him, fine, then Aaron would let him.  He needed this, for him and Liv. He couldn't let a messed-up crush fuck up his chance at getting his sister back. He needed to protect her. There were all kinds of freaks out there and somewhere Gordon was waiting.

So, his feelings for Robert, no not feelings. He thought the guy was hot that was all. Nothing else. There was no need to turn it into a big deal. He'd just apologise, and then they'd move past it.

He hoped.

Aaron opened the front door of Robert's house with the key he'd been given, and he made sure to make plenty of noise coming inside. The last thing he needed was to walk in on Robert and his girlfriend making out or something worse.

Aaron knew his cheeks were flushed red with embarrassment. His actions last night the main culprit but thinking about Robert and naked cuddle time wasn't helping either, particularly as he was picturing them together and not Robert and his girlfriend.

“Aaron?” he heard Robert call from somewhere in the house.

“Yeah. Marco?” Aaron called, opting for a little humour and trying to work out where Robert was.

“Polo,” Robert replied the sound coming from the kitchen.

Aaron made his way to Robert, using his nose as a guide. The smells of cooking tomato and garlic wafting from this part of the house made his mouth water.

“Hey,” he said, moving to sit at the counter across from where Robert was once again cooking.

“Hey. Hungry?” Robert asked, taking the lid of a pot of boiling water and adding pasta to the pot.

“Always,” Aaron said feeling incredibly awkward and uncomfortable.

“Spaghetti and meat balls okay?” Robert inquired without even looking up at Aaron.

This sucked. He needed to apologise or something because things couldn't stay like this.

“Robert, I’m sorry about last night.”

Robert finally looked up at Aaron and let out a small sigh.

 

Robert wished he knew the right thing to say here. He didn't want to hurt Aaron, but he needed it to be very clear that nothing could ever happen like that between them.

“No, I’m sorry. Maybe, I gave you the impression that something could happen between us but it can’t,” Robert said, feeling the heat of Aaron’s eyes on him.

Arousal filled Robert unwillingly, and he hated himself a little. He couldn't have Aaron even if he wanted him.  It wasn't worth his career or reputation and Aaron deserved better, they both did. A quick fuck or fling wasn’t something that either of them needed right now.

“You didn’t. I just assumed, or maybe, it was because it was something I wanted and I was hoping you felt the same, but I should know better by now. I'm damaged goods. No one is ever going to want me, especially not someone like you. I just hope I haven't ruined this. I haven't felt safe in a really long time," Aaron looked like he was going to be sick, sharing this much of him wasn't something he did often.

Robert felt like an arsehole. The desire to give Aaron everything he wanted battled with his need to protect himself.

“You’re not damaged goods Aaron, and I realise we barely know each other, but I know at least that. Pete told me a bit about your past, and I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I respect you so much. You're incredibly brave and strong, and the way you protected your sister is to be commended," Robert hoped that his words meant something to Aaron, but he knew from experience that abuse survivors sometimes struggled with self-worth.

Aaron shook his head in denial, and Robert knew he was trying to ignore what he'd been saying.

"Aaron, I know I told you I'm a detective, but I never told you I work in the sex crimes squad. Please believe me when I say my rejection of you last night had nothing to do with you or your past. I just can't. I offered you a safe place to stay with no strings, and I meant it," Robert tried to explain again.

Aaron met his eyes and shame seemed to be bleeding from his entire being. Robert felt like shit. He was failing Aaron, and he couldn't stand it. He wanted to kiss away Aaron's fear and doubt. He wanted to make sure that Aaron never felt ashamed again, but he knew he couldn't, it wasn't his place.

“Okay, it’s okay, I get it. I saw you this morning with your girlfriend. I’ll try to keep out of your way from now on,” Aaron said, his words sharp and blunt. Aaron’s mention of a girlfriend confused Robert for a minute before he realised that Aaron must be talking about Victoria.

He should tell Aaron the truth about Vic, but he felt like he was tottering on the edge of something right now, and one false step would have them both falling so hard, and Robert knew he wasn't prepared for the consequences. He didn't want to fail Aaron. His father's voice echoed in his head. He knew exactly what Jack would say about Robert.

He could do better. He would do better.

 

“I’m bisexual,” Robert said, shocking Aaron out of his depressed thoughts.

He’d been spiralling in a pool of frustration and inadequacy. Embarrassment and denial made Aaron not want to believe Robert, because if he was bisexual what did that say about them. Robert said he wasn’t damaged, but he didn’t want Aaron and it wasn’t because he didn’t like men. He just didn’t like Aaron.

"You're killing me here Aaron," Robert said, turning to drain the water off the cooked pasta. Putting it in a larger bowl, he poured the sauce and meat balls on top before placing a portion on both of their plates. "Cheese?" he asked.

Aaron looked at the food sitting in front of him not in the least bit hungry for food or anything else for that matter, but he nodded to Robert’s offer of cheese anyway.

"I'm sorry," Aaron said, not sure why, but the look on Robert's face made him feel apologetic.

 

Robert reached out and placed his hand over Aaron’s where it rested on the counter top. Heat rushed up his fingertips and into the palm of his hand and flooded quickly through the rest of his body. He felt like someone had lit him up from the inside, no, not someone, Aaron.

Robert really didn’t understand it. Why did Aaron have this effect on him? He’d never felt anything like this, not with anyone. Was it because he knew he couldn’t or rather shouldn’t have Aaron? The grass is always greener and all of that?

Aaron's sad eyes met Robert's, and he saw answering heat and want to be reflected in them.

Robert wondered for a second what Aaron would do if Robert swept their food off the counter and onto the floor. What would he do if Robert climbed up onto the counter and pressed his lips to Aaron’s? Would he let Robert nibble on his tongue, taste and explore him? Was his offer still on the table so to speak?

Robert didn’t know, but he knew that he wanted a taste of Aaron more than their forgotten dinner.

Pulling his hand away from Aaron, Robert took a step back putting some distance between the two of them, even though all he wanted was to be closer.

He hated this. Robert didn’t want to get into this right now with Aaron, but he knew he needed to be at least partly truthful lest their miss communication hurt Aaron even more.

"I feel it too. Attraction towards you but nothing can happen. Nothing is going to happen. I'm too old for you anyway, and it would just complicate the issue. Liv needs to be the most important thing to you right now. Anything between us however short and ill-advised could mean that you never get custody of your sister," Robert revealed. He was pretty sure that he was making a huge mistake by telling Aaron of his need for him, but he couldn't stand here and just watch Aaron believe that he wasn't good enough or that he was somehow too damaged to be loved.

The truth of the matter was that Robert knew Aaron was dangerous. He could be so easy for Robert to love if he let himself. He already cared too much, but Robert wasn’t about to make himself vulnerable.

 

There was a twinge in his belly at Robert’s words. 

“How old are you?” Aaron heard himself ask.

“Twenty-five. It doesn’t matter Aaron because you deserve better. I’ve arranged to take you to see Leyla in the morning. Pete’s wife. She’s going to try and help you, give you some advice and start looking into getting you custody of Liv,” Robert said.

“Will you be there?” Aaron questioned.

“Do you want me there?” Robert answered with a question of his own.

Aaron nodded. “If you don’t mind. I don’t know her. I’d feel…better if you were there,” Aaron replied, feeling silly for needing Robert.

“Then I’ll be there. I’ll see you in the morning, Aaron. Try and get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and all that," Robert said, as he gave Aaron's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before leaving him alone in the kitchen. His and Robert's dinners were going cold and uneaten on the counter in front of him.

Aaron didn't know what to think about Robert's words from earlier. Something had changed between them, and Aaron wasn't sure what it was or what it meant.

He did know things were easier two hours ago when he just thought Robert was straight and uninterested.

Aaron picked up his fork and then put it down again. He wasn’t hungry. He felt bad that Robert had gone to all this trouble and then neither of them had the stomach to eat it.

Aaron was struggling with the idea of Robert wanting him. He'd turned Aaron away, rejected him.  If their roles had been reversed Aaron knew that he would never say no to Robert. He wanted him too much.

Aaron took a deep breath and made a plan. First, he'd clean up the mess from their uneaten dinner, putting the food away and then he'd go to bed. Robert was right tomorrow was another day, and it would be soon enough to try and put together the puzzle that was Robert.

 

Robert punched his pillow and tried not to think about what Aaron looked like naked. Rolling over and staring up at the ceiling, he wondered how all those inches of bared flesh might taste. He was so angry with himself, and his thoughts weren't helping. His appetite was back with a vengeance only it wasn't food he wanted.

Shit.

He gave his hard cock a firm squeeze. He really did need to get laid, that’s all this was, right? Right?

It had to be because Robert couldn’t afford for it to be anything else.

His phone beeped, and he grabbed off the bedside table, putting in his password, he unlocked it and read the text waiting for him.

**_Vic 8.49pm:_ **

**_I’m pissed at you._ **

What else was new? Robert had long given up trying to make his family proud, these days he tried for happy but never really hit that mark either. Maybe, if Vic and Diane knew the truth about what had happened to him when he was a teenager but mostly he doubted it.

Emmerdale was a small village with a long convenient memory, and it didn't really matter he was in no rush to ever go back.

_Robert 8.52pm:_

_?_

**_Vic 8.53pm:_ **

**_What was your problem today? We need to talk about Diane’s birthday._ **

_Robert 8.57pm:_

_Nothing. I was just late. I’m not going to be able to come home this year. Sorry. I’ll send a gift._

**_Vic 9.02pm:_ **

**_I knew you were going to say that, so I thought maybe we could come to you. She doesn’t want a gift Robert she wants to spend her birthday with her son._ **

_Robert 9.07pm:_

_Step-son. Sorry too busy. I’m in the middle of an investigation **.**_

**_Vic 9.09pm:_ **

**_I’m ringing you now. You better pick up._ **

_Robert 9.10pm:_

_I’m not going to. I’m tired Vic, and I don't need a lecture right now._

He was so tired, when his phone started to ring, he was so tempted just to turn it off.

“Yes?” he said after answering it instead.

It was a long drawn out put upon sounding sigh that greeted him. “Why are you always like this?”

It wasn’t a question Robert knew how to answer. “Like what?”

“Difficult. You know Diane loves us like we were her own,” Vic said, her frustration evident even through the phone.

Robert shrugged in the darkness. He knew his sister couldn't see him, but he really didn't want to be having this conversation now. One heart to heart a day was enough for him, and he still felt raw from his interview with Aaron.

“You and Andy maybe, but I was always just the fuck up. Look, we both know that Andy isn’t going to want me there anyway and if I come it will just ruin whatever you’ve got planned. So, let’s just leave it yeah?” Robert said trying not to think about the past.

“Why do you only have time for me Robert?” Vic asked.

“Because you love me,” Robert said as truthfully as he could. He didn’t bother to say that she was the only one who had not hurt him or let him down.

“We all love you even Andy he’s just an idiot like you,” Vic argued.

“Okay, sure. I have to go now,” Robert said needing to have this conversation be over already.

“Robert it’s not even ten o’clock,” Vic reasoned.

“Early start. The big investigation, remember?" Robert said only half lying; he did have an early morning, it just didn't have anything to do with work.

"You know if it wasn't for Pete, I feel like I wouldn't even know anything about you. I know something happened before you left, and I know I was just a kid, but I want my brother back, Robert," Vic stated.

“I’m here,” Robert whispered.

“Right. Will you at least have dinner with me sometime this week?” Vic asked.

"I can't…" he started to say, but she cut him off.

"Right, big investigation. Good night Robert. I love you," Vic said, and Robert hated himself for how sad she sounded.

Throwing the phone onto his bedside table, Robert really wished he wasn't alone in the darkness. It ate at him this feeling of being completely alone in the world. This big house, one big echo to remind him of his forced solitary. But he wasn't alone. At least not for now, Aaron was somewhere safe inside with Robert.

Oh god, he wished.

Robert wrapped his arms around himself and forced himself to close his eyes and empty his mind.

He needed to go to sleep not waste time thinking about what it would be like to have Aaron just laying next to him.

This was why Robert needed to keep his distance because Aaron was way too young to be Robert’s everything.

 

Robert had been quiet all morning.

The ride to Leyla’s office a sombre affair.

Aaron knew he didn't really know Robert, but he felt like maybe something was going on with Robert that had nothing to do with Aaron.

He wanted to help. To do something, but he had no idea how to even approach Robert about it, so he didn’t say anything at all.

Robert probably didn’t want to talk to him about personal issues anyway. He seemed intent on sorting out Aaron’s life and leaving himself completely out of the equation.

 "So, Pete tells me you want full custody of your younger sister. I need you to sign some paperwork that just says I'm your solicitor so that I can get access to you and your sister's files," Leyla put the papers on the table in front of Aaron and handed him a pen.  He looked over at Robert to see what he thought, and Robert gave him a small nod, indicating he should sign.

Leyla seemed nice enough but Aaron didn't know her, and he didn't really trust anyone these days.

Aaron signed the paperwork and handed it back to her.

“Okay, so given your situation, there are few things you're going to need to do before they even consider giving you any kind of custody of Olivia," Leyla stated.

“Liv,” Aaron said, “she likes to be called Liv.”

"Well, before Child Protection Services will even consider giving you a review you will need to under go some counselling for your past abuse, and this will be part of your assessment. You will also need to get a job, and usually, I'd suggest that you found somewhere to live that was a safe environment to raise a child, but given that you are now living with Robert that probably won't be necessary just yet. They will probably want to know if it is a permanent arrangement. If not, they'll want to know what your plan is for when you are no longer staying with Robert. You will need to be able to prove that you can provide for Liv and that it would be in her best interest to be with you rather than with anyone else," Leyla explained, and Aaron couldn't stop himself from looking at Robert.

They had not spoken about how long Aaron would be welcome in his home, and realistically he knew he couldn't stay with Robert forever, but it didn't mean he wanted to leave. He'd meant it when he told Robert that he felt safe with him.

Aaron knew he could do this without Robert; he'd spent the past couple of years looking after Liv on his own before they got caught and sent back to Gordon. He could do it on his own, he just didn't want to, but he had no idea what Robert wanted from him.

"I know it might seem like a lot, but you're actually in with a pretty good shot. You have not one but two detectives willing to vouch for you, and except for the accusation of kidnapping that you were investigated for, you have no criminal record. The kidnapping investigation should not even be a factor now given that Gordon is now known to police for child endangerment and sexual abuse,” Leyla said obviously taking his silence for worry or doubt, but it was wanting to know what Robert thought about all of this that was messing with his head.

“Do you have any questions?” Leyla asked.

Aaron shook his head.

“Can you suggest a counsellor?” Robert asked her.

"Sure, I'll email you a couple of names later. Also, if you're planning on staying with Robert long term it might be a promising idea to see if you can’t arrange a meeting with her current family so that she can get to know Robert a little,” Leyla suggested.

“Thanks,” Robert said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah, thanks,” Aaron said awkwardly shaking her hand.

“No problem, I’ll get in touch when I know the process has been started.  Let me know when you’ve been to the counsellor and have found suitable employment and I’ll see what I can do to fast track your assessment. Here, take my card,” she handed him a small white piece of cardboard, but it felt like she was giving him so much more.

He felt closer to getting Liv back than ever. “Thanks.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main Fanfic Title from the song 'All In' by Lifehouse.  
> Chapter Title from the song 'All In' by Lifehouse.


	4. Take My Hand, Hold On Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Robert and Aaron meet there's an instant attraction, no doubt about it, but nothing can happen, it just wouldn't be appropriate. Robert feels for the lad, who's been on the streets and struggling to take care of his young sister, so he does the decent thing and opens his home to him – gives him a break. Feelings grow, Aaron wants Robert, in more ways than one, in every way really, but Robert is fighting it, he fears becoming one of the monsters he hunts. It's only when things get dangerous, pursuing Gordon has some scary consequences, he begins to realise that you really only get one life; Aaron and Liv are his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the best cheerleaders in writing this Bubble love right here, I'm so not worthy of your support. 
> 
> Special thanks to the lovely [@blueswinseverytime](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluewinseverytime/pseuds/Bluewinseverytime) and [@smittenwithsugden](http://archiveofourown.org/users/smittenwithsugden/pseuds/smittenwithsugden) for all the reading and re-reading and editing and the like. 
> 
> I was lucky enough to get picked by the most talented and sweetest artist - I'm so glad it was you, [@iwantmessedup](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/)! Her amazing art work for this fic can be found [HERE!](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/post/164928965663/emmerdale-big-bang-all-in-by-godamnarmsrace)
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Written for Emmerdale Big Bang Round #1.
> 
> If you have any questions about triggers etc, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Lunch with Pete was usually something Robert enjoyed, but it was a week after Aaron had propositioned him and he couldn’t get Aaron out of his mind. He was sick of Pete giving him inquiring looks. “What?”

“Nothing,” Pete said, “just wondering when you’re gonna start talking about what’s going on with you.”

“It’s just Aaron is driving me crazy,” Robert muttered.

“Ah Ha!  I knew it. I told Leyla you’d fall for him,” Pete chortled.

"I haven't…I'm not…it's just, he's just so fucking sweet and sexy and god I'm fucked," Robert said dropping his head into his hands. "You know he thinks Vic is my girlfriend. I believe that it might be the only thing keeping us from stripping all our clothes off. I couldn't tell him the truth because I don't trust myself at least this way he thinks there's no chance for us."

The sound of Pete’s laughter was drawing attention to their table, but Robert just ignored it.

"You are a shit friend," Robert accused, which just made Pete laugh harder.

"I'm an excellent friend; I probably introduced you to the love of your life. I'm starting to think you might owe me," Pete said when he finally stopped laughing.

“God, I hope not. He’s too young it would only be a matter of time before he got sick of me and my bullshit and moved onto someone better,” Robert said, wanting desperately to change the conversation.

"Mate, you haven't seen the way he looks at you. Leyla said it was like he thought you'd hung the moon or something," Pete said, but Robert didn't want to hear it. He couldn't because he knew it wasn't real.

"It's just a crush or first lust, I don't know but I'm not going to let anything happen between us so let's just stop talking about it okay?" Robert asked.  "What I need is a distraction."

"Fine, you're not interested, but it can't be that bad," Pete insisted.

"The first night he stripped off naked and climbed into my bed while I was in the shower. Then proceeded to offer himself up to me like some sacrificial virgin offering," Robert uttered his voice hoarse from trying not to shout out to the whole café about how fucking perfect every inch of Aaron was, and he did mean every inch.

"Oh, man. No wonder you're all tense he wound you up, and you didn't even get to pop," Pete's grin was back, and Robert felt the urge to punch him.

“Tell me everything you know about Aaron’s case and Gordon Livesy,” Robert all but ordered his mate.

“You what? Why?” Pete asked.

“Because someone needs to catch him and put him behind bars and it might as well be me,” Robert explained forcing himself to finish his lunch. He couldn’t keep skipping meals.

“Don’t you think you have a pretty big conflict of interest?” Pete questioned, looking concerned now.

"No, I don't. I plan on keeping my distance from Aaron. Friends only and besides if I'm busy hunting Gordon I won't even really be spending any time at home, so it's hardly a conflict of interest," Robert argued.

"I think it's a bad idea, but I'll arrange for Hotten Police to send over the file on Livesy, and I'll give you what I've got on Aaron and Liv, but you'll have to ask Leyla for the information she got from child protection services. She'll probably tell you to go fuck yourself, but I'll leave that up to you," Pete said with a small grin that didn't reach his eyes.

He was worried. Robert could tell, but he didn't need to be. This was a good thing. This was his job. It was Robert's job to hunt down and to help punish the monsters, but he'd never wanted it so much before.

 

It was weeks before Aaron could talk Adam into spending some time with him at Robert’s house.

"Who is this guy?" Adam asked letting out a loud whistle, impressed. "So, where's the swimming pool?"

Aaron pointed towards the back of the house, "There, but you have to go down a level to get to it."

“You’re shitting me, right? I was joking,” Adam said, his shock amusing Aaron because his reaction had been much the same when Robert gave him the tour that first night.

"You hungry? Robert's a pretty good cook, and I think there are some leftovers from last night's tea," Aaron offered, leading Adam into the spacious kitchen.

"Sure, I can always eat. I bet this house has fantastic water pressure too," Adam said inspecting the granite counter tops.

"It's not bad. Do you want to take a shower? You can if you want?" Aaron asked, remembering what it was like to never quite feel clean. He got out a plate of food and stuck it in the microwave to heat up.

"Nah, that's okay. Any luck on getting Robert to bed and wed you?" Adam asked his usual grin in place.

Aaron would much rather talk about Adam's problems than his own, but he learnt pretty early on that he wasn't interested in talking about anything but his sister Holly, who was missing. Maybe, Robert could help find Holly, he'd ask him tonight.

“Nope. He’s still got a girlfriend, hasn’t he. So, no chance of that but it’s good we’re…comfortable with each other,” Aaron answered reluctantly.

Adam laughed, "I'm surprised you haven't drowned him in your drool. You said he told you he was attracted to you; surely you could use that to get what you want?"

"I wouldn't do that, I'm not about to force my needs on someone else," Aaron said getting out the plate of warm food and putting it down in front of Adam. He really didn't want to talk about this; it was bad enough the counsellor was making him ‘work through’ his past.

“Yeah, right. Sorry,” Adam said taking a bite of the food. “Still I get why you like him. Big house, money, good cook, what’s not to like?”

"It isn't like that. Robert makes me feel safe even as my feelings for him are scaring the shit out of me. He's just…I wish he'd let me in and I don't even mean sexually. I feel like he's so alone. He keeps telling me how he wants to help me and I can't help but wonder if anyone ever gave him the same care," Aaron said knowing his cheeks were flushed with colour, embarrassment over his words filling him to overflowing.

 

Robert tried not to be nervous, but he was about to meet Aaron's little sister. She was the most important person in Aaron's life, and Robert wanted her to like him too. He knew it was stupid; it didn't matter if she liked him or not. It would make things easier with child protection services, but that wasn't Robert wanted her to like him.

He didn’t want it to be a thing that would cause any distance between him and Aaron. Stupid. He was being an idiot. He needed the space between them, to be honest. It was getting harder and harder every day that passed to stop himself from reaching out and taking what Aaron offered him every time he looked at Robert.

Robert’s fear of Liv rejecting him was drowned out by a desire to see this side of Aaron. He’d witnessed Aaron’s fear and strength of will, in regards to making sure his sister was safe, but he’d never been privy to Aaron being soft and relaxed the way he looked now as they waited for Carol McGrady to fetch Liv.

Robert swallowed down his fear. She was just a kid. He'd just turn on the charm; he worked with children at work all the time. He could do this; there was nothing to worry about.

“Aaron!” a cute little blonde with lopsided braids and a dirty face threw herself at Aaron as she entered the living room where they had been waiting.

“Hey Olive Oil, what’s this?” Aaron asked pointing to what Robert hoped was chocolate on her chin and cheeks.

“We’re making cookies! I’m the official taste tester,” Liv said looking at Robert curiously with pretty blue eyes fixed on his every movement. “Who are you?”

“I’m Robert, nice to meet you,” he held out his hand for her to shake. She shocked the hell out of him when she took it and did a curtsy.

"Please to meet you," she said ducking her head the picture of good manners but a twinkle of trouble in her eyes made Robert want to wink at her, so he did. He was pleased when he got a giggle out of her.

“She thinks she’s the queen of England,” Aaron said tickling his sister, the sound of little girl laughter filling the room with joy.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Carol said closing the door behind her, leaving the three of them alone in the room together.

“Madeline,” Liv said when she’d caught her breath.

Aaron rolled his eyes, clearly knowing what she was saying.

"Hmm, and now see I thought your name was Liv, but then Aaron did call you Olive Oil but is it, Madeline? I think I’m going to call you Cookie,” Robert said relaxing for the first time since they got there.

"I don't want to be the queen, I want to be proper like Madeline," Liv explained moving closer to Robert curiosity etched on her lovely features.

"Madeline is a trouble maker," Aaron said mischief lining his face. He was happy here with his sister, and Robert was right he knew he'd love seeing it, and it just made him want to hold onto them both and not let go. But they weren't his to hold. This was for them.

"Nooo! She's not!" Liv said all but stamping her foot. Crossing her arms in displeasure, she climbed up on the couch next to Robert. "Why would you want to call me Cookie?"

“Because you’re covered with it,” Robert explained wiping some from her cheek to show her.

“Oh,” she said in a stage whisper, “I was sneaking a little more than a taste.”

“You, don’t say?” Robert replied trying hard not to laugh.

“I’ve been staying with Robert,” Aaron said to Liv drawing them back to the main reason for their visit.

“Are you his boyfriend?” Liv asked Robert with her head tilted in consideration.

“No, just his friend,” Robert said meeting Aaron’s eyes, want and need flaring between them.

“Can I come live there too?” Liv asked looking between her brother and Robert.

Robert wanted to say yes, but it wasn't his choice. He wanted to know what it would feel to have his lonely house filled with the sound of her laughter.

“See that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Aaron said coming to kneel in front of his sister. “I know you like it here.”

Liv nodded, “Mrs McGrady is really nice, but she isn’t mum. I want to be with you, Aaron." Turning to Robert, she said, "I'll be good I promise."

"I know Liv; you would," Robert said his heart breaking a little. These two could break him if he let them.

It was probably too late; he thought looking at brother and sister.

“I have to find a job and then someone will make the decision, but if you want to come home with me I’ll make it happen,” Aaron promised.

 

“You shouldn’t have promised her that everything would work out,” Robert said gripping the steering wheel tight. He was a hypocrite he knew because he wanted to do the exact same thing.

“It wasn’t a lie,” Aaron said from where he was leaning against the car door.

Fear filled Robert.

“You’d run away with her again?” Robert asked even though he already knew the answer.

"If I have to. If it is what I need to do to keep us together and keep Liv safe," Aaron said the heat of his words fogging up the car window.

“Then we better make sure it doesn’t come to that,” Robert said, unable to accept that he could lose Aaron.

Shit.

When would he learn you couldn’t lose something that was never yours in the first place?

 

Aaron was getting out of the shower when he heard a noise downstairs. He wrapped a towel around his waist and crept downstairs.

Robert’s girlfriend was standing near the front door looking unsure when she spotted Aaron in his towel dripping on the stairs. “Oh, hello. I didn’t think anyone would be here. Robert’s at work, right?” she asked checking him out.

He resisted the urge to cross his arms across his chest. He felt weird that she could see his nipples, which was dumb because he was more covered than he'd be if they'd been in the pool or at the beach.

“Who are you?” she asked.

An evil little part of Aaron was glad that Robert had still not told her about him. Like he was Robert's alone, it made him bold and stupid, and he couldn't stop himself from saying, "I live here. Who are you?"

“Victoria, I’m Robert’s sister, but everyone calls me Vic,” she said looking uncomfortable. “Boyfriend?” she asked.

“Wait!? You’re his sister?” Aaron asked confused.

"Since birth. Look I'm not actually meant to be here, but my brother can be difficult, and he's been ignoring me of recent, so I've been worried. I wanted to make sure everything was okay with him," Vic explained looking a little embarrassed now. "I had no idea that he just didn't want to share any part of his happiness with me."

“I’m not his boyfriend. I thought you were his girlfriend,” Aaron explained.

“First ew, does Robert know your thoughts?” Vic asked her head tilted in a considering manner that reminded him of Liv.

Aaron nodded.

Vic let out a snort, “Of course. Idiot. Him, not you. I don’t know you well enough yet to judge. Do you want to be his boyfriend?”

Aaron didn't know how to take her. She was a fascinating insight into Robert, but she invoked more questions than she answered.

He didn't know how to respond to her question. I mean, well he did, but it felt wrong making that kind of declaration to Robert's sister before the man in question, so he said nothing.

"Huh, fine. Don't worry about telling Robert I stopped by; he's going to be getting a very uncomfortable phone call from me in about five minutes. It was good to meet you, Aaron. I look forward to seeing you with clothes on next time,” she said before opening the front door and stepping outside.

The door closed behind her, he went back and sent a quick text to Adam.

 

“Why would he lie about something like that?”

"Well, technically he didn't like he just didn't correct your assumption," Adam said flicking through the channels on the TV. "Ah, sorry I thought you wanted the truth. Make up your mind Livesy," he said when he noticed that Aaron was pissed.

“I’m not mad,” Aaron said fighting the urge to rip the remote out of Adam’s hand and throw it on the ground.

“Sure, tell that to your face,” Adam said finally settling on a show about shearing sheep or something.

“I’m not. I’m confused and a little hurt maybe,” Aaron argued.

“Did you ever think that it made it easier for Robert to say no to you and your willing arse when you thought he had a girlfriend. Be honest would you have tried a little hard to tempt him if you thought he was single?” Adam asked arms crossed, careful not to look at Aaron.

"Well, if you're going to use logic…" Aaron said hitting Adam with a couch cushion. "It's meant to be really cold tonight. I know you've got your place, but it's freezing there normally. Will you spend the night here?" Aaron put the cushion down in his lap and hoped Adam might take him up on his offer.

“Can’t I’ve got a client,” Adam said getting up off the couch, “so I should probably go, or I'll be late."

“Adam…” Aaron tried again hating that he couldn’t help his friend.

“No. We don’t do this,” Adam said making his way to the front door.

The front door opened and Robert came inside looking worried. So, Vic must have called him then.

Adam stopped in front of Aaron suddenly causing him to slam into his best friend.

“You right?” he asked watching as Adam stared at Robert in horror before his mate hurried out the front door.

“What the hell was that about?” Aaron asked Robert when he noticed that Robert was wearing a similar look of confusion and horror as Adam on his face.

“We know each other,” Robert revealed.

Silence, thick and heavy filled the space between them, while Aaron struggled not to think the worst. Robert wouldn't be one of Adam's clients, right?

“Not like that!” Robert bit out, his offence clear.  "I'll explain later, but I need to call Pete first."

“Why?” Aaron asked frustrated he wanted to know what the hell was going on.

He also really wanted to kiss Robert.

Damn it.

Robert looked up from his phone, a haunted look on his face. “Because your friend Adam is Pete’s brother. Or well half-brother. We thought he was dead like Holly.”

“Holly’s dead? Oh man,” Aaron said feeling sick. “Should we go after him?”

Robert shook his head. “Give me his address, Pete is going to want to go get him.”

Aaron wanted to argue. He didn't want to betray his friend but he trusted Robert to make the right choice, and he knew Detective Barton was one of the good guys.

He was aware that Adam might not forgive him for this, but Robert was right Pete should be the one to speak to Adam.

 

Adam wouldn’t answer any of his calls and Pete had not been able to find him anywhere.

Aaron was worried, but he couldn't think about it right now he was meant to be spending time with Liv.  He’d been granted visits and contact as long as it was approved by the McGrady’s. Leyla said it was positive.

“Robert is sad Aaron. I think someone hurt him,” Liv said drawing his attention back to her.

"Robert is fine," Aaron said watching her play with her dolls in the beautiful pink bedroom she had at the McGrady's. He couldn't help but picture Liv in the pink and lavender room that waited empty at Robert's house. More suited for a little girl than ever before, with Robert constantly bringing home toys and books to make the room more enticing. Aaron had caught him placing a Madeline doll in there just last night.

“Robert is lonely. We should look after him and love him,” Liv said coming over to where Aaron was sitting on her bed. “When can I come and live at Robert’s with you?”

"Soon hopefully, but I have to get a job first. I've been looking, but it is hard," Aaron said, filled with frustration.

“Because you know farms stuff but not city stuff? I know you can fix things!” Liv suggested trying to help.

“Yeah, but here in the city they want you to have to go to school and show how you learnt to fix things,” Aaron tried to explain qualifications to his little sister.

“But that will take too long,” Liv groaned.

"I know don't worry Olive Oil, I'll work something out," Aaron said reaching out to cuddle her.

“Can Robert help?” she asked her words soft little puffs of air against his cheek.

“Robert’s done enough. You know that we won’t be able to stay with Robert forever, right? We are going to have to find our own home,” Aaron explained even as denial filled him.

"Our home should be with Robert. He loves us," Liv sounded so sure. Aaron wanted to agree with her; he didn't let himself think about what his life could be like if Robert loved him.

“He does seem sweet on you,” he said as a joke, trying to cheer them both up a little.

“I won’t steal him, but I am going to marry someone like him or like Ariel or maybe a Prince,” she said with a small shrug.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main Fanfic Title from the song 'All In' by Lifehouse.  
> Chapter Title from the song 'Hold On Forever' by Rob Thomas.


	5. Tell It To My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Robert and Aaron meet there's an instant attraction, no doubt about it, but nothing can happen, it just wouldn't be appropriate. Robert feels for the lad, who's been on the streets and struggling to take care of his young sister, so he does the decent thing and opens his home to him – gives him a break. Feelings grow, Aaron wants Robert, in more ways than one, in every way really, but Robert is fighting it, he fears becoming one of the monsters he hunts. It's only when things get dangerous, pursuing Gordon has some scary consequences, he begins to realise that you really only get one life; Aaron and Liv are his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the best cheerleaders in writing this Bubble love right here, I'm so not worthy of your support. 
> 
> Special thanks to the lovely [@blueswinseverytime](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluewinseverytime/pseuds/Bluewinseverytime) and [@smittenwithsugden](http://archiveofourown.org/users/smittenwithsugden/pseuds/smittenwithsugden) for all the reading and re-reading and editing and the like. 
> 
> I was lucky enough to get picked by the most talented and sweetest artist - I'm so glad it was you, [@iwantmessedup](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/)! Her amazing art work for this fic can be found [HERE!](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/post/164928965663/emmerdale-big-bang-all-in-by-godamnarmsrace)
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Written for Emmerdale Big Bang Round #1.
> 
> If you have any questions about triggers etc, please don't hesitate to contact me.

“Any word on Adam?” Robert asked as Pete pulled the car over to the curb.

"Not yet, but at least we know he's alive. Moira is going out of her mind, and it's all I can do to keep her back in Emmerdale. I think I've managed to convince her that coming here might just make things worse," Pete said with a deep sigh.

“Anything I can do?” Robert asked.

“Let me know if he contacts Aaron,” Pete said turning off the car.

"So, what was so important that you had to drag me out in the middle of the night?" Robert asked, but he needn't have bothered because that moment he saw the reason.

Robert took one look at Aaron and almost swallowed his tongue.

Holy mother of god.

He was wearing eyeliner and leather and eyeliner.

Damn.  Just damn.

Robert’s eyes kept coming back to Aaron’s eyes ringed with a dark smoky outline that would have made Robert’s knees buckle if he’d been standing.

"I told you," Pete said, and Robert could hear the amusement in his tone.  It made him want to hit Pete. Hard. In the face. Repeatedly.

“What kind of club is this?” Robert heard himself ask, surprised he could form coherent thoughts let alone get the words out.

“Well, I’ve never been inside but Ross’s friend Kai owns the place and from what I’ve heard about the place while on the job it’s a pretty tame fetish club but still this isn’t where your boy should be working if he wants full custody of his sister.  I mean it’s bad enough that he’s gay and living with another gay man but working here this could ruin his chances,” Pete said all traces of amusement gone from his tone.

“I’m bisexual,” Robert interjected.

"I know, but bureaucrats only know gay or straight. I'm not saying it's right or fair but as far as they are concerned, if you like dick, then you're gay," Pete argued, pulling a face to illustrate his thoughts on the matter.

Robert knew Pete's words to be the truth, but he didn't have to like it. "I don't understand.  He should be aware that this job isn't suitable," Robert mused, but all thoughts fled his head when a tall, muscular guy by-pass the line waiting to enter the exclusive club and stopped directly in front of Aaron.

Aaron flashed a quick, easy grin at the stranger that Robert had never been privileged to and jealousy like a hot knife cut into him with a sharp pain, which had Robert clenching his teeth and letting out a small hiss of air from between them.  Robert wanted to look away, but he could not bring himself to turn from the scene unfolding in front of him in the dark alley.  The strange guy leant forward and kissed Aaron on the mouth in an action that almost had Robert out of the car, but as he placed his hand on the door, Pete spoke.

“He doesn’t need you to rescue him, Rob.”

Robert knew no truer words had ever been spoken, but worse he was aware that Aaron wouldn't want him here. Hell, he'd made a promise to Aaron never to come here.  He was meant to be watching Liv, but a quick glance at the back seat of the car where Aaron's little sister slept made guilt choke Robert. He knew it wasn't what Aaron had in mind, Robert dragging his little sister all over town in the middle of the night to spy on him while he was working.

“We shouldn’t be here,” Robert whispered removing his hand from the car door.  “We need to leave now.”

Robert knew Pete was looking at him as intently as he could in the dark car, but Robert's eyes were still locked on Aaron and the tall stranger. Robert could do nothing else, but watch as the stranger leant forward once again only this time he pushed a hand with long elegant fingers holding a wad of cash down the front of Aaron's pants when he pulled back his hand was empty.

“What the fuck?” Robert couldn’t help muttering into the darkness.

“It’s just a bribe.  The guy wants to jump the line and get into the club,” Pete said trying to reassure him.

“Are you sure?” Robert asked, not being able to shake the image of Aaron offering himself to Robert on the first night.

"Yes, besides you said he wasn't hustling," Pete answered eyes full of concern and Robert knew Pete was thinking about Adam, but he couldn't focus on that now. Aaron was his priority.

"He told me he wasn't, that he never had but..." Robert said, but doubt filled him as Aaron's words from that first night echoed in his head.

_“You can have me for free.  I’m yours, any way you want me,” Aaron had said without hesitation._

“Well, he better not be or he can kiss any chance of having the little princess back there living with him.

"I know.  He's not; Aaron wouldn't risk Liv for anything," Robert said sounding surer than he felt.  "Let's get out of here."

 

When Aaron got home, he was tired and just wanted to climb into Robert's bed and sleep until forever.  But that wasn't an option open to him, and so he'd settle for flopping fully clothed, face down on his own bed.  Finding Robert sitting in the dark waiting up for him was unexpected, and little fingers of pleasure moved from the base of Aaron's spine and upwards.

“What are you doing sitting in the dark?” Aaron asked.

“I was waiting for you,” Robert replied, his tone low and hollow sounding.

“What about Liv? You promised you’d watch her,” Aaron asked, irrational fear making his throat tighten.

"She's here.  She's safe," Robert whispered, reassuring him making Aaron's fears bleed away into the darkness because if Liv was here with Robert, then she was safe.  Robert would never hurt her or let anyone else harm his little sister.

“What’s she doing here?” Aaron questioned, trusting Robert’s word with every fibre of his being, but not understanding how Liv ended up being here with Robert, instead of her own bed at the McGrady’s house.

“She’s sleeping in your room,” Robert replied.

“That’s not what I meant,” Aaron pushed.

"I know.  I had something I had to do, and I'd promised to watch Liv, so Carol suggested she spend the night here," Robert explained, but once again he avoided Aaron's question.

Aaron decided to let it go; it didn't matter why Liv was there with them, just that she was and Aaron couldn't help the feeling of elation that bubbled deep within him.  He knew what he wanted wasn't real and never would be, at least not completely.  Robert would never be his and tomorrow Liv would be back with the McGrady's and Aaron's dream of them making a little family would go back to just being a fantasy.  It was just some little childish idea he took out in the middle of the night when he lay awake listening to Robert breathing down the hall, so close and yet a million miles away from where Aaron wanted him to be.

"What are you doing, Aaron?" Robert asked, his voice hard and cutting in the darkness.

For a moment, Aaron thought Robert had read his mind and was chastising him for his thoughts of wanting them being a family, but he knew Robert had no idea how Aaron felt about him.  "I don't know what you expect me to say, Robert.” He’d never heard this tone from Robert before; it was like steel wrapped in velvet.

“I wanna know what the fuck you think you’re doing working at ‘Skin’.  I know Leyla said to get a job, but I’m sure as shit that wasn’t what she had in mind, all you need is for some good-doer to report where you’re working to the people working on your case and you can kiss any chance of having Liv with you permanently away.  Do you want that?  No, don’t answer I know you don’t, so what the fuck Aaron?  And have you looked at yourself in the mirror?  You look like a twice fucked whore,” Robert said each word like a physical blow. 

Aaron stood still shock filling every fibre, not even Robert getting up and walking over to him could make Aaron move.  Robert leant into him close enough that if Aaron didn't know better, he would think Robert was smelling him, but he knew better. Robert said, "Go shower and wash your face.  You smell like sex. You can sleep in Liv's room tonight I don't want you waking her up, she's got school tomorrow," before moving down the hall to his own room.

Shock turned to anger, and Aaron wanted to chase after Robert and put his fist in Robert's pretty face, in the face he loved, the face that had just called him a whore to his face without flinching.

 

Robert didn't know what was wrong with him. He was acting like a complete bastard, and deep down he knew it was because he feared for Aaron and Liv being separated for good, but he also knew a lot of it was caused by the idea of Aaron letting anyone who wasn't Robert touch him intimately.

He was fucking jealous. Unbelievable. He didn’t want Aaron, but no one else could have him either. He knew that for the lie it was the moment he thought it. He never wanted anyone the way he wanted Aaron.

Robert had consistently pushed him away.

It didn’t matter that it was the right thing to do or that Aaron owed him nothing.

Not a thing.

He couldn’t stand the idea of anyone touching what was his. Aaron wasn’t his, he wanted to scream, but wasn’t he just a little? He knew that he was starting to belong to Aaron and he didn’t know how to stop it. How to protect himself from when Aaron would eventually leave him.

Robert was clearly fucked in the head because he’d been this close to telling Aaron if he wanted to be paid for it Robert would pay top dollar to fuck his tight virgin ass. But the truth of the matter was that Aaron wasn't a virgin, that had been stolen from him, and Robert wasn't about to become one of the monsters he hunted.

Groaning Robert threw himself on the bed half expecting Aaron to follow him, after all, Robert had clearly been spoiling for a fight.  Robert mused that this time Aaron was the better man and he wondered if for as long as Aaron had been under his roof a bundle of scruffy of temptation that Robert wanted more than anything, if he’d ever been the better man or if he was doomed to become a bitter one.

He couldn't sleep he was too frustrated and angry at himself. He couldn't stop thinking about if this were enough for Aaron to realise that Robert wasn't worth his admiration, or his affection.

Getting up he quietly opened the door to Liv’s room.

Robert had no idea how long he'd stood there watching Aaron sleep, but he suspected it was long enough to be considered creepy and inappropriate.  It didn't seem to matter that Aaron had completely destroyed Robert's life in such a way that he only felt complete when Aaron was in touching distance.

Robert had no idea how he'd gotten here, not here in the sense that he was standing in the hall watching a half-naked Aaron sleep on the little girl bed, but rather where he was at this point in his life, where suddenly his very existence hinged on another person. Someone so inappropriate and not for him.  Aaron could never be Robert's and the sooner his cock and heart fell into line the better.

 

Aaron held his breath, he could feel Robert's eyes watching him in the dark, and he didn't want the feeling that Robert's attention evoked to stop.  With his eyes firmly shut he could pretend that Robert's eyes were mapping his body with desire and longing.  To open his eyes and let Robert know he was awake would only break the spell.

Aaron was so hard he ached with it.  The knowledge that his little sister was sleeping down the hall did nothing to dampen his urge to have Robert on top of him and inside him, pushing him into the bed.  To have Robert holding him down. Thoughts that had once frightened Aaron were a liberation when coupled with his desire for Robert. He knew without a doubt that no matter the circumstances if Robert had been willing, Aaron would have had himself spread open and naked in about two seconds flat, ready for Robert.

“Robert?” Liv's voice broke the silence and the darkness, unintentionally shattering the fantasy Aaron had been creating.

Aaron heard Robert turn around head down the hall to Aaron's room where Liv had been sleeping.

Squeezing his hard cock tight to starve his erection Aaron slowly and silently got up and followed Robert down the hall.  Standing in the dark shadows in the doorway, much the way Robert had been doing with him, Aaron watched and listened as Robert sat down on the bed next to his little sister and started to speak.

Brushing a stray curl behind her ear, he asked Liv, "Are you okay Cookie?"

“Yes, is Aaron home yet?” Liv asked, leaning into Robert.

So, he wasn’t the only Livesy who wanted Robert to hold them. Not a complete shocker.

Robert brushed a kiss across Liv's forehead, and Aaron felt his chest tighten along with other parts of his anatomy.

Robert was such a good man if only he could be theirs.  They could be a proper family.

"Aaron's sleeping in your room, but he'll be all yours in just a few hours.  Have you thought about what you want to do with your day tomorrow?" Robert said, stroking his hand through Liv's hair, his attention one hundred percent focussed on Aaron's little sister.

“I don’t have to go to school, right?” Liv asked, and Aaron was surprised by her question, he clearly remembered Robert tell him that Liv needed her sleep for school the next day.

Huh.

Robert was a big fat liar, liar pants on fire.

“Nope, no school.  It is a teacher's day.  So, what should we do?  Or maybe it should just be you and Aaron.  What do you want to do Cookie?”  Robert finished his voice sounding a little strange to Aaron.

Aaron waited for Liv's response.  He knew what he wanted.  As much as he loved his little sister, the chance to spend the day with the two people he loved most in this world was something he didn't want to miss.

Oh, fuck!

He was so in love with Robert.  He was so fucked and not in the way he wanted to be.

How did this happen? He knew, of course, he knew, he’d been falling for Robert from the first moment they met, but he thought he’d been smarter. Protected himself better.

Aaron tried not to draw attention to where he stood in the dark hall, but the urge to hyperventilate was a strong one. He could feel the panic boiling in his belly. What if Robert realised? What if he kicked them out because of it? No, he wouldn't do that, but Aaron couldn't bear to see pity in Robert's eyes.

Why didn’t Robert want him? He felt broken. Damaged.

Holding his breath in an attempt to calm himself down Aaron waited to hear what Liv's response would be to Robert's question.

“Why is Aaron sleeping in my bed?” Liv asked instead, her eyes big and round.

Okay, so that wasn't the response Aaron was waiting for, but his breathing was better now as if the shock of Liv's question had snapped him out of his mini mental breakdown.

“Because you're sleeping in here Sweetie and I didn't want him to wake you up when he got home from work,” Robert explained his voice sounding even more strange.

"No, why isn't he sleeping with you in your bed?" Liv asked innocently, a puzzled look on her face.

Robert made a choking sound and Aaron felt a brief moment of sympathy for him, but more than that he was curious, he wanted to know what Robert would say to Liv.

“Well...” Robert tried before stopping suddenly.  “Umm...” he tried again.

“Mummy and daddy used to sleep together in the same bed, but then daddy hurt Aaron and mummy got sick," Liv said as if that should clear everything up.  "And my new friend Bridget at school, she has two dads, and they sleep together in the same bed."

Aaron felt himself smile.

Poor Robert.

“Liv...” Robert began, taking a deep breath before continuing.  “Aaron and I we...”

“You love each other.  You should get married,” Liv suggested.  “And then I can come live here with you,” excitement filling her voice. “We could be a proper family.”

Robert squeezed his arms around Liv, “I'd love to have you here with us all the time, Cookie.  We'll have to see what we can do,” he all but promised.

Aaron wanted that too, more than anything.

“Aaron loves you, I know he does,” Liv confessed much to Aaron's horror.

Rubbing his eyes in an attempt to look like he'd just woken up, and with a loud yawn, Aaron entered his room.  “Hey Olive Oil, what are you doing up?” he asked trying to sound sleepy.

“Aaron!” Liv said jumping off of Robert's lap and launching herself at Aaron's legs.

Not able to meet Robert's gaze just yet Aaron scooped up his little sister and hugged her, taking in Robert's scent from where he had held her.

“You should be sleeping,” he chastised, but there was no real anger in his tone and the smile on his face had a teasing feel to it.

“Did we wake you?” Robert asked from where he sat on the bed.  Aaron's bed.

Robert was on Aaron's bed. In just pyjama pants. Aaron couldn’t tear his eyes away from Robert’s chest and stomach.

Clearing his throat before he could answer Aaron replied, “No, bad dream.”

Liv's tiny hands on his cheeks turned Aaron's attention back to her, “It will be okay,” she whispered.

Robert smiled at them, and Aaron's throat started to feel tight again, but Liv wasn't finished reassuring Aaron.

“Robert will make it all better, won't you?” she said turning her big brown eyes in Robert's direction, looking at him like he hung the moon and all the stars.

Aaron finally met Robert's eyes, and for a moment he felt like Robert could see inside him.  He feared that his face reflected his desires, mimicking his sister. He couldn't help but feel like Robert was the answer to everything he'd ever wanted for him and Liv. He closed his eyes and breaking the connection Aaron took a deep breath trying to suppress the shudder of want and need that was coursing through him.

 

Robert wondered if Aaron had heard Liv's confession or not.  He wouldn’t meet Robert’s eyes, but that could have more to do with the fact that Robert had pretty much called him a whore only a few hours earlier.

His regret was a living creature that threatened to consume him.

Robert's throat felt tight, he wanted what Liv also wanted, a chance for them to be a family, but Robert was pretty sure he'd stuffed up any chance he'd ever had with Aaron.

It was probably for the best, Aaron had been through too much already, and Robert was too old for him and too scarred anyway.  It didn’t stop him from wanting Aaron though.

“Are you okay?” Robert heard himself ask.  He didn't know what else to say to Aaron after the way he had spoken to him earlier.

"Yeah, I just...sometimes it's too much you know?" Aaron replied his eyes focussed on the top of Liv's head.

Robert watched as Aaron's body trembled.  Standing he walked over to where Aaron stood, Liv clutched firmly but safely in his arms and moving as close as he could without actually touching Aaron and said, “I'm sorry Aaron.”

Robert knew as he watched Aaron's eyes flutter closed that Aaron knew he wasn't just talking about Aaron's bad dream, but rather their fight earlier and Robert's part in it.

“It's fine,” Aaron lied, eyes still closed.

“It's not,” Liv argued.  “You hurt.”  Reaching for Robert, she pulled him until he was standing with his body flush against Aaron's back.  “Make it better Robert,” she all but ordered him.

Aaron must have showered Robert mused, as there was no trace of musky club smoke smell on Aaron's skin.  Fuck!  Robert felt his cock harden where it was pushed up against Aaron's ass.  Pulling back slightly to remove the pressure and reduce the chance of Aaron feeling his growing boner, Robert was at a loss as to what Liv expected him to do.

She looked at him her eyes so trusting and innocent. Robert wondered if the event of her childhood had changed her. All three of them probably needed counselling.

 

If Aaron didn't know better, he might have thought that he'd felt Robert's cock hard against him, but sadly he knew it must be wishful thinking on his part rather than fact.  It didn't stop him from taking a moment to wish it was true.

"I really am sorry about earlier. I was out of line," Robert whispered, his lips brushed against the back of Aaron's neck.

Startled by Robert's words as much as the intimate kiss of Robert's lips against him, Aaron turned in his arms putting Liv between them.  “You didn't do anything wrong,” Aaron told Robert, knowing the truth of his words.  Robert had just been looking out for Aaron and Liv like he had every day since he rescued Aaron from a life of sleeping on the streets and the occasional tree.

Robert was continually saving Aaron, and he just wished that Robert would let Aaron save him back once in a while.  "I made a mistake," Aaron confessed in a hushed tone.

“We'll talk about it in the morning.  It's late you should get some more sleep,” Robert suggested. “Both of you.”

Liv yawned, “Will you keep the bad things away, Robert?” She asked, her words heavy with sleep.

Aaron watched as something he couldn't name fluttered across Robert's face.  “I'll do my best,” Robert vowed in complete seriousness.

“Sleep in here with me and Aaron, okay?” Liv asked with another yawn that shook her small frame.

“Aaron and I,” Aaron corrected automatically.

“Umm...I'm not sure that's such a good idea,” Robert said, with a strange blush to his cheeks.

“Why not?” Liv asked.

“Well...this is Aaron's room and...” Robert tried to explain.

“I don't mind,” Aaron offered.  “If it makes her feel safe.”

“Yes,” Liv confirmed nodding sleepily.

“Okay,” Robert agreed, giving in. Aaron couldn't quite believe this turn of events.  He'd been dying to have Robert in his bed since he'd met the man and now here Robert was climbing into his bed with little argument.

Aaron noticed how Robert made sure that Liv was in the middle between them.  Oh, hell it was better than nothing, Aaron supposed.

“Goodnight Aaron, I love you,” Liv said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I love you too, night Olive Oil,” Aaron replied with a kiss of his own.

"Goodnight Robert, I love you," Liv said, turning to face Robert, her small hands cupped his cheeks, and he allowed her to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Goodnight Sweetness,” Robert said returning her kiss on the forehead.

“Now you need to say goodnight,” Liv urged them both.

“Goodnight Robert,” Aaron said with a small smile, his sister was the devil, but God he loved her.

“Goodnight Aaron,” Robert replied with a small smile of his own.

“Now kiss,” Liv demanded.

"Huh?" Robert blurted out, and Aaron had the good grace to feel a little bad for him.

“Kiss!” Liv hissed sounding more awake suddenly.

“She probably won't shut up and go to sleep till we do it so...” Aaron said his turn to blush.

“Okay,” Robert replied leaning his body over Liv.  Robert moved as if to kiss Aaron on the cheek, but Aaron figured this might be his once in a life time chance to know what Robert tasted like, so at the last moment he turned his head so that Robert's mouth brushed against his own.  It was all he could do not let out a moan of desire.

Robert's lips were slightly parted, the urge to slip his tongue into Robert's mouth was so strong, but he pulled away breaking the kiss before he could make an even bigger fool of himself.

Opening his eyes Aaron saw that Robert's face was once again flushed with colour, their eyes locked and Aaron felt a pull deep down in his stomach.  Man, he wanted this.  Wanted Robert.

Life sucked.

Looking down he saw that Liv had fallen asleep between them

, Robert's eyes followed his, "She's beautiful."

“Yes,” Aaron agreed, thinking the same could be said about Robert.  “Especially, when she's sleeping,” Aaron said offering a small smile.

“I just want to protect you both, and help you become a family again, you know, that right?  I never meant to be an asshole to you tonight or hurt you.  I was scared for you Aaron and... I just know that you're better than that job,” Robert whispered, his eyes closed. “I’ll help you we’ll find something else, something better, safer.”

Rolling over Aaron switched off the light, moving back, so he was once again facing Liv and Robert, he whispered back, "I know, don't worry about it.  Robert, let's just go to sleep before Liv wakes up again.  I know you'd never hurt me on purpose.  I trust you."

Robert said nothing in response to Aaron's whispered words. The power of them echoing through the dark room, if Aaron didn't know better, he might have thought Robert was asleep, but he could feel Robert's eyes on him in the dark.

“Goodnight,” he whispered into the dark room.

Aaron was almost asleep when he finally heard Robert whisper, “Sweet dreams, Aaron.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main Fanfic Title from the song 'All In' by Lifehouse.  
> Chapter Title from the song 'Tell It To My Heart' by Taylor Dayne.


	6. You Know I Would Die Here Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Robert and Aaron meet there's an instant attraction, no doubt about it, but nothing can happen, it just wouldn't be appropriate. Robert feels for the lad, who's been on the streets and struggling to take care of his young sister, so he does the decent thing and opens his home to him – gives him a break. Feelings grow, Aaron wants Robert, in more ways than one, in every way really, but Robert is fighting it, he fears becoming one of the monsters he hunts. It's only when things get dangerous, pursuing Gordon has some scary consequences, he begins to realise that you really only get one life; Aaron and Liv are his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the best cheerleaders in writing this Bubble love right here, I'm so not worthy of your support. 
> 
> Special thanks to the lovely [@blueswinseverytime](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluewinseverytime/pseuds/Bluewinseverytime) and [@smittenwithsugden](http://archiveofourown.org/users/smittenwithsugden/pseuds/smittenwithsugden) for all the reading and re-reading and editing and the like. 
> 
> I was lucky enough to get picked by the most talented and sweetest artist - I'm so glad it was you, [@iwantmessedup](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/)! Her amazing art work for this fic can be found [HERE!](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/post/164928965663/emmerdale-big-bang-all-in-by-godamnarmsrace)
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Written for Emmerdale Big Bang Round #1.
> 
> If you have any questions about triggers etc, please don't hesitate to contact me.

When Robert woke, he was surprised for many reasons.  First, he was surprised because last night he'd been sure he wouldn't be able to fall asleep in Aaron's bed and had planned to get up and go to his own room after Aaron had fallen asleep, but he must have drifted off.

But the real surprise or rather shock came from the fact that he had somehow managed to wrap himself around Aaron's body.  One arm under Aaron's pillow, the other wrapped around Aaron's waist and slipped underneath his thin T-shirt.  His legs tangled between Aaron's, his hard cock pushing up against Aaron's firm ass. He buried his face in the hair at the nape of Aaron's neck; the urge to rub his nose and lips against Aaron's flesh was a temptation he couldn't resist.

Where was Liv?

It was then that the sound of cartoons and the sweet sound of little girl laughter reached him from the living room.  She must have woken up and gone to watch TV.

Robert needed to make a move too before Aaron woke up and found Robert wrapped around him like a freaking python or something.  Robert lay there for just a minute longer taking in the chance just to enjoy having Aaron in his arms, revelling at the touch of Aaron's body against his own. He couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to wake up like this every morning, the feeling of not being alone, replaced with love, warmth and laughter.

Slowly, but ever so carefully, Robert untangled his limbs from Aaron's.  He held his breath when Aaron rolled over onto his back, sure that Aaron was about to wake, Robert backed out of Aaron's bed room as fast as his legs would take him.

Damn.

Taking a moment, Robert waited till his erection had faded before he ducked his head around the living room door and smiled when he saw Liv's happy face watching cartoon's just as he'd suspected.

“Hey Cookie, are you okay in here by yourself for a little longer while I go take a shower?” he asked her when there was a break between cartoons.

“Yep.  Can we have pancakes for breakfast?” Liv asked using the puppy dog look Robert was sure she'd stolen from her brother. “With chocolate chips?”

"Sure, just let me shower and then I'll make you some pancakes, okay?" he asked with another small smile as if he could say no to her.  Both of the Livesy's had him completely wrapped around their little fingers.

“Okay.  Where's Aaron?” she asked stopping him as he turned to leave.

“He's still sleeping I think, why don't you go wake him up?” Robert suggested with a quick evil laugh.

"Okay...Robert?" Liv's voice stopped him again; she'd gotten up and crossed the room, so she was standing right in front of him.

“Yes Cookie?” he replied.

“I love you,” Liv said throwing her arms around Robert's legs.

Brushing the hair out of her eyes with his hand, Robert managed to reply around the lump that had formed in his throat at her words.  "I love you too, Liv."

He would never get used to hearing her say it but every time she did, it made him feel ten feet tall and like Superman.  "Be a good girl and go and jump on your brother and wake him up, while I shower," Robert suggested bending to give her a quick cuddle.

 

Robert showered quickly willing his cock to stay soft, and when that didn't work, he switched off the hot water and finished with an ice-cold shower that was guaranteed to wilt his desire. His movements were minimal, taking care not to linger on any one part of his body lest the mere act of bathing become an erotic experience.

He had pancakes to make and a couple of hungry bellies waiting for him.

Robert was walking a fine line between want and denial. He couldn't get used to having this little family in his life; it would only be a temporary thing like every other good thing he'd ever had in his life.

He decided to go to work after breakfast; he'd leave the family outing to Aaron and Liv. They didn't need him tagging along, besides he had work to do.

It was time to go hunting.

 

**_Pete 11.26am:_ **

**_You want to get lunch?_ **

_Robert 11.42am:_

_Sorry, I can’t right now._

**_Pete 12.22pm:_ **

**_I hope you’re happy I’m eating alone and I’m getting hit on by senior citizens. Gordon?_ **

_Robert 1.45pm:_

_I’m getting close._

**_Pete 1.47pm:_ **

**_Nothing? No response to the little old ladies who spent my whole lunch pinching my cheeks?_ **

_Robert 1.53pm:_

_Face or butt?_

**_Pete 2.08pm:_ **

**_Both. I'm starting to get worried, and I'm not the only one._ **

_Robert 2.25pm:_

_What? Who?_

**_Pete 2.29pm:_ **

**_Aaron, he rang and asked if everything was okay. He is concerned because you haven’t been coming home much. I think he thinks you’re seeing someone or avoiding him._ **

_Robert 2.34pm:_

_I’ll explain everything to him once Gordon is behind bars where he belongs._

**_Pete 2.45pm:_ **

**_Does Jimmy know what you're up doing?_ **

_Robert 2.48pm:_

_My Sergeant doesn’t need to know everything. You know what Jimmy is like as long as I get my man, he’ll act like he was in on it all along._

**_Pete 2.50pm:_ **

**_So, I take it that means that he doesn’t know about Aaron either and the big fat conflict of interest you have sleeping down the hall from you._ **

_Robert 4.16pm:_

_He’s not a conflict._

**_Pete 5.34pm:_ **

**_No, of course not. Now tell me you won’t be glad that you are still permitted to carry your gun from when you were working as an authorised firearms officer._ **

_Robert 5.48pm:_

_I would never shoot unless my life was at risk._

**_Pete 6.46pm:_ **

**_Promise me you’ll call me before you do anything stupid. I don’t have many friends I’d hate to have to make a new one._ **

_Robert 6.51pm:_

_Nothing to worry about still just at the investigation stage._

Robert threw his phone on the seat next to him. He was frustrated. He'd been following Gordon Livesy for a week now, and although the sight of him still made Robert physically ill and he had to restrain himself from getting out of his car and emptying his gun into him, Gordon had not done anything illegal.

Robert had been ropable when he realised that while Gordon Livesy was known to the police and a person of interest in a number of investigations, no charges had ever been laid.  ‘Lack of evidence,' the file said. Robert had wanted to go home and question Aaron, but the data had painted a picture of a past that Robert didn't want to be responsible for forcing Aaron to revisit.

 Aaron was the strongest person he knew, he couldn't believe how strong he was considering, and Robert wanted to be the one who told him that Gordon was never going to hurt him or Liv again. He needed to make sure that Gordon was punished for what he had done to Aaron.

Robert knew how to hunt the monsters who abused the innocent, he knew the kind of rocks they liked to hide under, but Gordon wasn’t hiding. No, he was strolling down the road like he had the right to mix with the rest of humanity and fury and hate bubbled inside Robert. It made his palms itch with the need to wrap around Gordon’s throat and squeeze the life right out of him.

It was only a matter of time, he'd make a mistake, and if he so much looked at another child wrong, Robert was going to be there to slap on the cuffs.

The shrill ring of the phone startled him. He went to reach for the phone only to realise he was clutching his gun.

Fuck! He didn’t even remember reaching for it.

He checked to make sure the safety was still on and put his gun back in the holster and let out a deep breath. He needed to get a grip.

“Detective Inspector Robert Sugden,” he managed to get out the words even though his hands were shaking.

“Hi, it’s just me. I was wondering if you were going to be home for dinner? Liv missed you today. She didn’t want to leave when Carol came to pick her up because she wanted to say goodbye to you in person."

"I'm sorry I missed her and I'm sorry, but I'm going to be late again. I'm tailing a suspect, and I don't want to leave him in case I miss something," Robert said keeping it as close to the truth as he could. He didn't want to lie, but he also didn't want to get Aaron's hopes up or stir up old memories for no reason. When Gordon was behind bars would be soon enough, until then Robert would stay away from Aaron because it was becoming increasingly more difficult to lie to his face.

It was an unfortunate development that was unfamiliar to Robert.

“Any word from Adam?” Robert asked changing the subject.

“Yes, actually he called. We’re meeting tomorrow. I rang Pete to let him know that Adam was okay, but he still doesn’t want to see any of his family. I still can’t believe you guys know each other,” Aaron replied.

"We don't really know each other; it's more that it's a small village and we were aware of each other. I always thought Adam had a thing for Vic actually, but he never made a move, so maybe I was wrong," Robert said, a little bit distracted when Gordon stopped a young boy about nine or ten on a bike. "I have to go. We'll talk in the morning."

"Oh okay. Bye," Aaron said sounding disappointed, but Robert's attention was on the scene playing out before him. Opening the camera on his phone he started taking pictures of Gordon and the young boy, Robert was relieved when the boy got back on his bike and rode away.

He wanted to get Gordon but not at the expense of another child. Robert would have to think of another way to get his evidence.

 

“I’m glad you called. I was starting to get worried,” Aaron said when he met Adam at a park not far from where Adam had his flat.

"I almost didn't. I just I can't go back just yet. Not now that I know, Holly's really dead. I've been out here two years working the streets, making friends with dealers and the rest of the garbage, present company excluded and I could stand it because I thought at the end of it I was going to get my sister back. I figured I was going to be able to go home and look my mum in the eye and say, ‘I found her' instead I find out it was all for nothing," Adam said kicking over a rock.

“I’m sorry mate I wish there was something I could do, but you’ve got a family who loves you and just wants you to come home. You should let Pete take you home," Aaron urged, not wanting to spook his friend, but afraid Adam might just take off again.

Adam sat down on the bench and replied, "I need some time. I'm not the person I used to be; they might not like who I've become."

“Maybe, they’ll surprise you. Sometimes people do,” Aaron said throwing his arm over Adam’s shoulder and pulling him into a hug.

“Mate, who are you these days. Wait, don't tell me Robert Sugden changed your life. You have no idea how weird it is for me that your mystery man is Robert Sugden. Seriously, Robert Sugden?  He was such a messed-up kid growing up. After his mum died, it was like he lost his shit, then something happened between him and his dad when he was still a teenager. Then one day he was there and then the next he was just gone," Adam said shaking his head as he remembered a Robert that Aaron wished he could have gotten to know.

"Maybe, I could go home and stay with you. It's starting to get embarrassing. I'm pretty sure Robert's seeing someone or hiding from me. He's gone all hours, and he's become distant in a way he wasn't before. All I want to do is throw myself at his feet and beg for him to fuck me, and it's only a matter of time before I do it," Aaron muttered hanging his head in shame.

"Well, maybe he'd say yes this time," Adam said hugging him back finally. Aaron was pretty sure it was a pity hug, but he'd take it.

"How fucked up is it that I wish that were the case.  You have to see Robert when he's sleepy and half naked, it's like looking into the sun and actually seeing what's behind the burn and the glare.  He's so fucking hot and pretty, but it isn't even that, yeah, he's the most caring person I've ever met, but it's his every action that tells me deep down in the pit of my stomach that he's perfect in every way possible.  I know he's lonely and a little bit broken like me, but It's the way he makes me feel," Aaron rambled, blushing a little.  "And he doesn't even know he's doing it," Aaron confessed. "He has freckles."

“So weird. Robert Sugden. You do realise that you're totally in love with him, right?” Adam asked all cockiness gone from his tone and only concern for his friend left.

"Yeah, I know," Aaron replied confirming to the world as a whole out aloud, what he's known for weeks.

“Fuck!” Adam sympathised.

“Yep,” Aaron agreed.

“Mate,” Adam said after a moment.

"I know.  I'm clearly fucked.  I almost think it might be better if I just left now before everything falls apart," Aaron said feeling bereft. "You sure you don't want Liv and me to tag along with you back to Emmerdale?"

 

After two weeks of missed calls and missing Robert in every way possible, Aaron found himself sitting alone in the dark just hoping to catch Robert as he snuck home in the early hours of the morning.

Aaron couldn't help but wonder if he'd done something to upset Robert. He knew when he was being avoided; he'd become a master of it himself. He'd learned early on how to make himself small and avoid notice.

It hurt, and Aaron didn't want to be here if his very presence was keeping Robert from coming home.

Aaron wasn't sure what he'd do, but he'd work something out. He had a good job now thanks once again to Robert, who got him an interview for washing the cars and a mechanics apprentice with the police car maintenance pool.

A couple of more weeks and he'd have enough for a deposit of first and last months rent on a small two-bed room flat somewhere, but he didn't want to leave. Robert had seemed happy for a while, but something was going on with him, and Aaron didn't know how to get Robert to open up to him. He just wanted to be there for him the way Robert had been there for Aaron and Liv since they met.

 

“Do you want me to leave?” Aaron asked when Robert finally came home, and he hated himself when his voice cracked on the question. “Just tell me what I did to change everything.”

Aaron stood up and moved over to stand in front of Robert, “I thought it was working. Me and you, us living here together. I know you don’t want me like that, but I thought we were good for each other. I thought maybe you felt safe with me too. I’m just going to go, but you need to give me a couple of weeks to find somewhere else to live organised."

"Don't be stupid," Robert whispered, grabbing hold of Aaron's face and slamming his mouth down on Aaron's. When he opened his lips under Robert's, it was all he could do to stop himself from letting out a moan. Aaron dipped his tongue in Robert's mouth, tasting and stroking against Robert's own.

 

Robert’s eyes opened briefly watching Aaron, as he was pushed up against the wall. He was content to let Aaron take on the role of aggressor. Not wanting to push for anything Aaron wasn’t willing to give him.

"Touch me," Aaron whispered into his mouth, and Robert wanted to, he wasn't made from fucking stone. "Please," he begged.

Robert let Aaron move his hand slowly down Aaron’s body till he was cupping Aaron’s erection.

Fuck! Aaron's need spurred his own and Robert flipped them so that Aaron's body slammed against the wall. Dropping to his knees, Robert pressed his face into Aaron's cock through the denim, testing the strength of Aaron's desire for him, the heat and hardness filling Robert with euphoria. He wanted a taste. He had to have it. Had to have Aaron in his mouth.

“Yes,” Aaron hissed above him pulling Robert from his desire.

Shit! Fuck! What was he doing?

Too fast too soon.

"This is why we can't be in the same room together," Robert muttered coming to his feet and stepping away from Aaron, putting as much distance as he could as quickly as he could. He was tired. His resolve weakened by lack of sleep and a growing need to give them both what they wanted and to hell with the consequences.

 

“I know you don’t owe me anything but can you give me some time for Liv’s sake?” Aaron said looking small and defeated from where he was sat on the floor opposite him.

Robert hated that he'd reduced Aaron to the picture before him. He knew he'd hurt Aaron, but it hurt him too. His father's words haunted him, and Robert needed to take a step back. "You're not going anywhere, Aaron. I'd sooner give you this damn house then send you on your way. You have a home here with me for as long as you want it, both of you. That is what I want. You, safe here with me."

"What does that even mean? You don't want me, but you don't want me to leave?" Aaron said bitterly.

"Don't be so naïve, Aaron. I can want something without deserving it. I can't talk about this now. You're not ready," Robert argued wishing he could give Aaron what they both wanted but one of them needed to be the adult here, and it would have to be him.

“How would you know? Who are you to say what I’m ready for or not?” Aaron raged, angry and bitter.

"Okay, for argument's sake, maybe I'm not ready, did you ever think of that, Aaron? Now, I'm tired, and I have to go back to work in four hours, so I'm going to bed," Robert said letting out a deep sigh.

"We need to talk about this," Aaron said, and he stood up moving over to where Robert sat on the couch.

“You’re not leaving, right? You’re going to stay here?” Robert asked getting up. He needed the distance and space between them.

Aaron nodded, and relief so intense filled Robert, the ferocity of it almost brought him to his knees.

“Okay, then there will be time enough to talk about all this later. You young people always in such a rush,” Robert said in an attempt to use humour.

“Fine,” Aaron muttered still bitter but maybe not as hurt.

"Fine. Good night then," Robert said, he went to move past him, but Aaron's hand shot out and stopped him.

"Kiss me goodnight," Aaron asked, and it sounded like an order. Robert wanted it. He didn't want to argue anymore, so he leant over and brushed his closed lips across Aaron's, and it was nothing like their kiss from earlier, but it was no less damaging to Robert's carefully constructed walls. It was starting, and Robert didn't know how to go back, how to stop it.

How did this kid sneak under the walls and into his fucking heart? “Now can we go to bed?” he asked, needing to get away from Aaron before he just gave in and fucked him here in the living room over the couch.

Aaron let out a small sigh, and Robert felt the gentle burst of air against his lips.

"Coward," Aaron accused, but he let Robert leave.

He was relieved and not the least bit offended. He was a coward.

Just ask his father.

 

He couldn’t sleep.

The memory of the weight of Aaron’s cock against his face was slowly torturing him.

This was ridiculous.

Robert kicked off his blankets and laid staring at the ceiling. He tried not to think about the fact that Aaron was close by willing and wanting.

He couldn't do this right now; he needed something to distract him from going to Aaron.

If he wasn’t going to sleep, he’d get up and follow up a lead he’d gotten from a local shop owner who told Robert earlier that he’s seen Gordon around a lot lately and who pointed Robert in the direction of some vacant homes in the area.

Robert got up and threw some clothes on, grabbing his keys and strapping his gun, he left the house as quietly as he could.

 

The house looked empty, but there was a light on in the back that shouldn't be on. Robert grabbed a flashlight from the boot of his car and crept slowing down the side of the house towards the backyard. It was still dark enough for the flashlight, but Robert could feel dawn stirring in the air.

Silently peering in the windows Robert was disappointed to find that he could see very little, someone had hung sheets over the windows. Disappointment switched to excitement when as he rounded the back of the house Robert found a window with a sheet that had half fallen, giving him a small view inside the vacant house.

The glow from a laptop set up on an old card table was the first thing that drew his attention, but it was the bare mattress with dark stains on it that held him fixed in place. All kinds of horrors filled Robert's brain, and nausea made him sweat in the cold early morning air.

“It’s about time you showed your face Copper,” a voice came from behind him.

Robert's instincts were screaming at him to go for his gun, shoot now and ask questions later.

"I wouldn't if I was you. You'll never get it out and get around to face me before I shoot you. No, you're going to put your hands on your head and turn around slowly," Gordon's voice dripped with smugness.

Robert did as he was told, all the while looking for an opportunity to turn the tables on Gordon and get the upper hand. He was stupid; he should have called Pete and got him to back him up. Too late now. He was on his own.

Robert wondered if he could use the torch he still had clutched in his hand to distract Gordon enough so that he could get to his gun.

He didn't look like a monster, but Robert knew better, they very rarely did. It was part of what made them so dangerous.

"You've got me where you want me, now what?" Robert asked trying to make out anything else in the backyard that he could use as a weapon or a distraction.

"Now we have a little chat. I wasn't happy when I realised you were following me. You were good, I'll give you that, but I'm better. I followed you tonight. I figured it was only a matter of time before you found my little hidey hole here and ruined all my fun. Now I'm not a killer, you know that, but I thought I'd make an exception for you," Gordon gloated, the grip on his gun never wavering as he held it pointed at Robert.

"So what stopped you?" Robert asked trying to remember all his training and not let thoughts of Liv and Aaron distract him.  He had to keep him talking, the sun would be up soon, and there were neighbours on this left side of the house, maybe someone might see them standing here.

"Stalling? Nice, but it's okay I want to indulge you. I saw you with my Aaron. I did a little window peeking of my own. You know, he was the sweetest child, so agreeable, but I can understand why you don't want him now, he's all used up, or maybe, that is why you like him...poor little victim," Gordon said with a grin.

Robert was going to be sick.

No, he was going to kill this fucker and then he was going to go home and tell Aaron he loved him.

He needed to leave all of his tainted thoughts here; no way was he taking any of this filth home with him to his family.

"I'd let you have him, he's too old for me anyway, too much fight in him but it doesn't matter because you're not leaving here alive. I'm going to wait and watch until Aaron leads me to Liv. Then I'm going to take my sweet girl back, after all, every little girl needs her daddy," Gordon said, and Robert threw himself at Gordon, swinging his heavy torch down towards Gordon's head, they both went down.

Gordon let go of him, and he rolled Robert over onto his back. His ears were ringing, and it hurt to breathe, Gordon must have gotten in a couple of punches. Robert went for his gun, but his arm wouldn't move properly.

“It’s probably nerve damage, but don’t worry it won’t be permanent. You’ll be dead soon. I’ll say goodbye to Aaron for you,” Gordon gloated as he left Robert laying in a pool of his own blood.

 

"Hello my name is Laura, what's your emergency?"  Laura asked her voice kind and calming.

"I've been shot. I'm Detective Inspector Robert Sugden, I need you to send a car to my home for protection," Robert gave her the McGrady's address and told her where to send the ambulance.

"Are the shooters still there?" Laura inquired, and Robert could hear her typing notes as she spoke.

“Shooter, singular and no he’s gone, it’s why you need to send officers to the locations I gave you,” Robert said, trying to control his breathing but it was becoming more difficult. The bullet might have hit his lung.

“Police have been dispatched to those locations, police and an ambulance has also been dispatched to your location. Can you tell me anything about the shooter Detective Inspector? What about your injuries? What can you tell me about them?" Robert knew she was just doing her job, but he wanted to get off the phone and call Pete he needed someone he knew and trusted to get Liv and Aaron.

"Shooter is Gordon Livesy, looks like he's been squatting at my location for some time. Tell the responding officers to be careful about destroying potential evidence. This may have been used as a location for holding abducted children. I've got one bullet wound, entry only, no exit wound. I think it went in my shoulder, but I'm having trouble so I think it must be bouncing around inside me," Robert said trying to keep it together. They needed him. He'd done this, led Gordon straight to them. It was all his fault.

"Okay, Detective Inspector just stay on the line, the ambulance will be there anytime now," Laura said, those keyboard keys click clacking in the background. It was good if he didn't make it they would know to go after Gordon.

“I can’t I need to make a call,” Robert said ending the call to the sound of Laura protesting his intention.

 

“Robert? What’s wrong? Where are you?” Pete sounded alert. Good.

Robert gave him the address. “Gordon shot me, he’s going after Aaron and Liv, you gotta keep them safe Pete. Promise me!” Panic was starting to eat into Robert.

“I promise. Stay on the phone I’m going to call an ambulance. Leyla, give me your phone,” Pete’s voice wavered, breaking on Leyla’s name.

“I did it already. Just get to them first Pete. Don’t let him touch them again. He knows where Aaron is, he followed me. I thought I was the hunter. I was wrong he was hunting me,” Robert’s chest felt tight. It hurt.

"I won't I promise. I'm going now. I'll get Liv and then get Aaron. Now, you need to make me a promise. Don't you fucking die arsehole!" Pete said, and Robert heard him start his car, the sound of the engine calming him. Pete would get there. Aaron would be okay.

"I love him, Pete," Robert whispered. He was cold.

“I know mate. I know,” Pete replied.

"Tell him… Tell him he was everything… Tell him I wanted to be good enough for him," Robert said, coughing. He could taste blood.

"Robert hold on! I can hear the ambulance. You're going to be able to tell him yourself, do you hear me, Robert Sugden?" Pete said, but there was no one to hear him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main Fanfic Title from the song 'All In' by Lifehouse.  
> Chapter Title from the song 'Life After You' by Daughtry.


	7. I'm All In, In For Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Robert and Aaron meet there's an instant attraction, no doubt about it, but nothing can happen, it just wouldn't be appropriate. Robert feels for the lad, who's been on the streets and struggling to take care of his young sister, so he does the decent thing and opens his home to him – gives him a break. Feelings grow, Aaron wants Robert, in more ways than one, in every way really, but Robert is fighting it, he fears becoming one of the monsters he hunts. It's only when things get dangerous, pursuing Gordon has some scary consequences, he begins to realise that you really only get one life; Aaron and Liv are his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the best cheerleaders in writing this Bubble love right here, I'm so not worthy of your support. 
> 
> Special thanks to the lovely [@blueswinseverytime](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluewinseverytime/pseuds/Bluewinseverytime) and [@smittenwithsugden](http://archiveofourown.org/users/smittenwithsugden/pseuds/smittenwithsugden) for all the reading and re-reading and editing and the like. 
> 
> I was lucky enough to get picked by the most talented and sweetest artist - I'm so glad it was you, [@iwantmessedup](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/)! Her amazing art work for this fic can be found [HERE!](http://iwantmessedup.tumblr.com/post/164928965663/emmerdale-big-bang-all-in-by-godamnarmsrace)
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Written for Emmerdale Big Bang Round #1.
> 
> If you have any questions about triggers etc, please don't hesitate to contact me.

“Get up Aaron.”

He came awake slowly, no fear, no feelings of danger. It was a testament to how safe he felt here in Robert’s house with Robert sleeping down the hall. It took him a few seconds to realise someone was standing over him shaking him awake. No not someone, Pete.

“What?” Aaron noticed Pete had his arms full of a sleeping Liv, catapulting him into consciousness. “What’s going on? Why do you have Liv? Where’s Robert? Pete, where’s Robert?”

Aaron reached out for Liv and Pete dumped her into Aaron’s waiting arms.

“Come on we have to go. Let’s go,” Pete said leaving them alone in Aaron’s room, giving him no choice but to follow if he wanted to know what the hell was going on. Making a detour, Aaron carried Liv into Robert’s room because he just needed to see for himself that Robert wasn’t there sleeping peacefully.

“What are you doing? Come on Aaron we don’t have time for this,” Pete said following Aaron into the room.

“I need to know what’s going on? Where is he, Pete?” Aaron asked starting to feel that fear that was absent earlier.

“I’ll tell you in the car, come on!” Pete promised, pulling Aaron along in his wake.

Aaron watched in shock as Pete drew a gun and stepped out into the early morning shadows of the front yard. “Get in the car,” Pete muttered, opening the passenger door for him and Liv.

Aaron waited until Pete was in the car and they were speeding away from Robert’s house before he asked Pete the question he was starting to dread getting an answer to, “Where is Robert, Pete?”

“The last update I got was that they were taking him into surgery,” Pete said, "He got shot, but he's going to be okay."

Shot? Aaron knew Robert was a cop, objectively he got it, but at this moment this was the first time he understood what that could mean for Robert. For them and their life together. Fuck he was scared. He needed Robert to be okay.

“How do you know?” Aaron asked hoping Pete had good factual evidence to back up his assurances like Robert had only been shot in the butt or something. Please, nothing life threatening.

“Because he has to be okay. I won’t accept anything else,” Pete said keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the road in front of him.

Aaron looked down at his sister in his arms, amazed that she was sleeping peacefully through the worst moments of Aaron’s life.

 

“You scared the hell out of me mate. I thought you were dead,” Pete said with a grimace remembering his fear.

Robert's throat hurt from the tube that they removed a little while ago; his surgery had gone well apparently. "They said I was unconscious when the ambulance arrived on scene. Aaron and Liv?”

“Safe, they’re with Leyla in the waiting room. We’re going to take Liv home with us now that we know you’re going to be okay. She’s exhausted,” Pete revealed. “Poor little muffin.”

Guilt flooded Robert. "Take Aaron too; he must be wrecked. Does he know what happened?”

"You mean does he know that you are so crazy in love with him, that rather than just tell him or call your best friend for help you were so eager to play the hero you went and got yourself shot by his paedophile father, who now is busy looking for them? No, he doesn't. Just that you got shot by a perp, you were investigating. Jimmy's pissed by the way, kept threatening to kill you himself and then fire you when you were in surgery. Aaron told him to shut his fucking mouth. It was pretty amusing all things considered. You really know how to make a mess of stuff don't you, Sugden?" Pete said relief and fondness softening his words. "Vic and Diane are on their way; they'll be here soon. So, all in all,  that should be interesting.”

 

“Don’t panic!” Pete said a few hours later after the doctor had been in to test Robert’s range of movement for any residual nerve damage. He'd been lucky; the bullet had hit his scapular and broken a piece of the bone off which had been pressing on the nerve. Once they'd got in there and surgically removed the bone fragment, he’d regained full movement in his arm.

That and some damage to his right lung were the worst of it. The surgeon had assured him that there would be a slow, but full recovery in his future, so when Pete said not to panic his first thought was about Aaron.

“Where is he?” Robert asked throwing back the blankets on his hospital bed, trying to get up.

“I don’t know. What happened to not panicking?" Pete said as he struggled to get Robert to get back into bed and make him stay there, but Robert was having none of it.

“I never promised not to panic. All I’m doing is panicking! How did you lose him? I thought you were going to take him home with you and Leyla?" Robert raved, his anger spurring him on. It was all he had; he knew he'd crash eventually but not until he'd found Aaron. A horrible thought occurred to Robert, "Liv?"

"She's fine; she is with Leyla. He hasn't done a runner, Robert. Aaron wouldn't leave Liv behind," Pete said trying for logic and reason, but Robert wasn't having any of it. "Right?"

Fuck! He pulled out his IV and pushed Pete of his way, “Are you coming? I need you to drive.”

Pete swore. “I really hate you sometimes. Where are we going?”

“My place,” Robert answered hoping that he might find Aaron hiding amongst familiar surroundings.

 

“Aaron!” Robert called out as he hurried inside his house.

“Robert?” Aaron asked coming down the stairs looking more than a little surprised to see Robert there.

“See he’s fine, time to go back to the hospital,” Pete said, placing a gentle, but restraining hand on Robert’s arm.

“Let me go. Leave,” Robert muttered, pulling free of Pete’s hold on him.

“Robert, you shouldn’t be here,” Aaron said hurrying down the steps towards them.

Turning to Pete, Robert muttered, “Leave.”

“Fine! What do I care if you drop dead from stupidity?” Pete said completely exasperated.

“What are you doing here? You should still be at the hospital,” Aaron asked as he came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs.

"Funny, that's what I was thinking about you," Robert said, and he could feel a dangerous mix of fear, rage and want curling low in his belly. "Come here Aaron," he beckoned.

"You look better," Aaron said trying to use the compliment to distract him, but it wouldn't work.

“I’m not. I am fucking pissed Aaron. You scared me. Come here," Robert ordered, and he knew he was too intense, but he couldn't rein it in, Aaron was driving him crazy. 

This time Aaron went to Robert, but he stopped just out of his reach.

"Are you frightened of me?" Robert had to ask; he needed to know before this thing between them went any further.

Aaron looked confused, “You what? No. Frightened for you maybe.”

"Do you know what it was like for me to wake up and find out you were missing? That you'd run from me," Robert said, desperately wanting to touch Aaron. He needed something tangible to prove to himself that Aaron was okay, safe, here.

"I didn't. I wouldn't, not from you, never from you, Robert," Aaron said closing the gap between them. Robert's control was stretched so damn thin, he needed to touch Aaron, but he was afraid that if he started now, he'd never be able to stop.

"Go and lock yourself in your bedroom. I'll call for an officer to come and keep you safe," Robert said, careful not to breathe through his nose. He didn't need Aaron's scent haunting him when he was alone later.

“What? No. I’m safe here with you,” Aaron insisted, cupping Robert’s face in his hands. “Please don’t make me leave you.”

Robert grunted, “You already left me.”

“A mistake, I thought you didn’t need me there, that you wouldn’t want me there. I won’t do it again,” Aaron pleaded, placing gentle kisses against Robert’s lips as if begging for entrance. “I love you,” Aaron soothed.

 

Robert didn’t even know how they got here. Oh, right, Aaron told Robert that he loved him and after that everything had gotten a little complicated. The naked kind of complicated.

Fuck! He didn't want to hurt Aaron but he was so fucking tight, and he had not spent nearly enough time prepping him. Both of them too strung out and desperate for this connection they had been craving for months.

Robert tried to slow down, he sought to gain some control of himself, over the situation, but Aaron wouldn't let him. Robert was making finger shaped bruises on Aaron's jutting hip bones, and it was all he could do to stop himself from forcing Aaron to take everything Robert had.

It had never been like this before. Never. Robert just seemed to know that he'd never have this again not with anyone else.

Aaron was it for him. How the fuck did he let that happen? Robert was smarter than this; he was trying for rational thought when there was none.

They just fit. They both had sharp edges that were sure to cut and bleed, but they both had enough scar tissue to soften the blows.

Robert wanted to give Aaron everything that he was, but he struggled. Aaron was hurting, this was too fast, too soon and Robert still wasn’t convinced that either of them were ready.

Biting his lip, Robert tried to slow them down. This wasn’t just some random fuck.

It was Aaron.

His Aaron.

 

Oh god, Aaron wanted this, needed it. It was all he'd wanted for so long, and now he finally knew what it felt like to be truly alive. Robert's harsh breath in his ears, the grip he had on Aaron's hips, it was grounding.  He felt torn apart and yeah, it hurt, but it was like nothing Aaron had ever experienced before. It was every kind of perfect. The pleasure coursing through his veins chased every niggle of fear and pain away until all Aaron could feel was Robert.

He'd been so fucking scared, but Robert was here, with him finally. All Aaron wanted to do was hold him, and be held by him.

Thoughts in the abstract about how this was, how it should have always been between them filled his head, even as he tried to bury thoughts of the past. His father didn’t belong here. 

Gordon didn’t get to take this from Aaron.

Not while Robert was loving him so good.

 

Fuck.  Damn.  Shit.  Robert knew he was hurting Aaron, he could feel it on every thrust the way Aaron's body seized around his cock, but he couldn't stop.  Fuck he couldn't.  Aaron had such a grip on the shirt wrapped around his wrists that the bones in his knuckles stood out stark white against his flesh.  And yet still he couldn't stop.

“Aaron, god I'm so sorry,” Robert muttered his lips against the back of Aaron's neck.  “I'll stop,” he promised even as he thrust his cock harder and deeper inside of Aaron.

"No, don't stop," Aaron choked out, and to Robert, it was the closest he'd ever heard to someone begging, and yet Robert could hear the pain in every one of Aaron's words.

"Fuck!" Robert uttered stilling his body.  "The one thing I've never wanted to do is be someone who hurts you, Aaron.  I won't hurt you any more than I already have," Robert managed to get out.

Forcing himself to move Robert started to slowly pull his cock out of Aaron's tight gripping heat.  The move just about killing him.

“No!” Aaron practically yelled when Robert was almost free and clear.  With just the head of his cock still buried inside Aaron, Robert was stopped from any further movement by one of Aaron's large hands on his ass holding him inside. “Please, feels so good inside me.”

“Aaron,” Robert shuddered, trying to come up with an effective argument that would make Aaron let him go.

“No, please don't leave me,” Aaron whimpered shattering something deep in the core of Robert.

"Oh, god Aaron, I'm not going anywhere I promise, I just can't be this guy, and I don't know how to stop when I'm inside you," Robert confessed.

"You're going to leave.  Everyone leaves me.  Don't leave me, Robert," Aaron begged openly sobbing now, his body heaving with the effort to let it all out.  "Promise."

Kissing the back of Aaron's neck tenderly, Robert whispered, "I promise I won't leave you.  I'll let you go when you're ready, but I'll never leave you by choice that much I can promise you, Aaron."

"I don't want you to let me go.  I don't want you ever to let me go.  Please fuck me, Robert, make me feel it.  I just want to know you're inside me.  I need you inside me.  I need to feel it," Aaron sobbed rocking his hips back onto Robert's traitorous cock which was still as hard as it had ever been.

“No, Aaron.  No, I don't want to hurt you anymore.  Damn, you're too fucking tight,” Robert replied destroyed by the sensations flooding his body, the words feeling as if they'd been ripped from him.  Pushing on the small of Aaron's back, Robert tried to stop Aaron from moving.

Aaron bucked his hips back hard pushing against Robert's hold until Robert was once again buried as deep as he could be inside Aaron.

"Fuck Aaron, stop," Robert groaned.  "Because I can't.  Fuck Aaron, God, you feel so good.  So, tight. Damn."

Aaron whimpered, but it ended in a moan given Robert some hope that the pleasure he was experience might be mutual.

"I never... wanted to before.  Never felt this...you are the only one who counts.  Fuck Robert, I've only ever wanted you.  Please fuck me. Please touch me; I only want to remember your touch. Tell me you want it," Aaron urged pushing back against Robert again as if trying to entice him to move.

 

Robert felt so torn asunder.  It was like someone had pulled him apart, and now there were all these pieces of him, and Robert didn't know how to fit himself back together again.  Hell, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to.

Still shaking from the force of his orgasm Robert couldn't bring himself to pull out of Aaron's tight spasming hole, even though he knew that Aaron must be getting uncomfortable with Robert's body weighing him down, pushing into the carpet.

God, for the first time he felt like maybe he could have everything he'd ever wanted.  He knew it was all a lie, even now parts of his mind were screaming at him to pull away from Aaron.  He couldn't let his whole life hang on this guy, this fucking stray with the tightest hole Robert had ever had.  He just couldn't.

 

Even now buried as deep as Robert could be inside Aaron, he felt Robert pulling away from him and away from what had just happened between them. 

“Robert don't!” Aaron heard himself plead, still shaking from his release. He’d never felt loved before, but he knew Robert loved him, the same way he knew Robert was about to start freaking out and pulling away from him.  “Please don't take this away.”

Aaron let out a whimper of distress as Robert pulled his body clear of Aaron's.  Trying to keep their connection Aaron spun around with the intention of wrapped his body around Robert's only to pause mid-motion. 

Fuck!  Robert's chest and lower stomach were covered in dark rivets of blood.

"Fuck, Robert!  You're bleeding!" Aaron exclaimed his hands, reaching out tentatively to touch Robert's chest.  The white of the bandage on Robert's chest stood out against his pale tan but even more so now than before due to the crimson blood that had soaked through it.

“Must have pulled some stitches,” Robert said with a shrug, his eyes a little glassy.

“God, you should still be in the hospital!” Aaron said getting up to get a towel or something to stop the bleeding. “You had surgery earlier, what were you thinking?”

Robert tried pulling up his jeans from where they were pooled around his ankles, but every movement causing pain in his chest. He laid down on the carpet on his back, with his eyes closed.  "I had to find you.  No one knew where you were.  I was worried."  Robert explained.

“All this just because you were worried?” Aaron flinched when he heard how shrill his voice was.  He took a moment to clear his throat before continuing.  “You were shot.  You should have been enjoying the drugs and the nurses and holding out for a sponge bath.”

Robert let out a sigh and turned his head so that his eyes met Aaron's.  “You make me crazy Aaron.  I needed you there.  I needed to know that you were safe. I needed to know that you didn't run away...why didn't you stick around?” Robert asked a puzzled look on his face.

Kneeling next to Robert, Aaron pushed the kitchen towel he'd collected against Robert's chest and ducked his head breaking the eye contact between them.  “I. It’s stupid.”

Robert reached out and tipped Aaron's chin so that their eyes met again, “Tell me,” Robert said.

“I didn't think you needed me.  Everyone else was there, Vic and everyone and I thought I'd just be in the way,” Aaron confessed biting his tongue to hold the full truth of it inside him.

"I think I've just proved that I wanted you there, hell, you're the only one who I wanted to be there," Robert said making it sound like a confession of sorts of his own.

Aaron ached everywhere, but it was a good kind of soreness because it was proof that Robert wanted him.  God, Aaron wanted Robert to fuck him again.  Robert let out a little groan of pain as he shifted his shoulder that snapped Aaron out of his thoughts.

“I'm gonna call an ambulance, you need to go back to the hospital,” Aaron said grabbing his pants and putting them back on sans underwear.

"Okay," Robert agreed which frankly scared the shit out of Aaron because the fact that Robert wasn't putting up much of a fight meant he was in bad shape.

After the quickest phone call of his life, Aaron asked Robert, "Are you going to be okay?"

"Well, maybe if you can help me finish putting my pants back on.  I can't seem to do them up myself. Otherwise, I might die of shame," Robert joked half-heartedly, his face pale and his mouth thin with pain.

It seemed like a shame to cover up all that male perfection, but Aaron did it anyway.

“This better not be the last time I ever see your dick,” Aaron said, choking out a laugh through his tears, as he tucked Robert back inside his pants and buttoned them shut. He was back to being scared as fuck that he was going to lose Robert one way or another.

 

“What is Aaron Dingle doing here?” Diane asked as she fussed around Robert’s hospital room.

Robert tried to sit up, but she was making him dizzy. “Dingle? What are you banging on about?” he asked confused. Damn morphine.

Robert watched as Diane produced a bunch of flowers in a vase from somewhere, was that a mum thing? Spontaneous flowers? What kind of flowers do you even give someone who has been shot? Huh, daisies.

“Aaron Dingle, Chas’s son, he’s out in the waiting room talking to Victoria,” Diane said finally sitting down in the chair next to his bed.

“Fuck me!” Robert swore. Seriously? Someone somewhere was laughing their arse off. A fucking Dingle how was that even possible. Oh, man Pete was going to love this, Robert could hear the jokes already.

“Robert Jacob Sugden!” Diane scolded him still able to make him feel like a naughty little boy.

He fought the urge to apologise for his behaviour and asked instead, “A Dingle? You’ve got to be shitting me? Are you sure? My Aaron?”

“Well, I haven’t seen him since he was just a wee little one but yeah it’s him. You called him your Aaron. Is he then?” Diane murmured picking up Robert’s hand and giving it a soft squeeze of encouragement. Devil woman, distracting him with this Dingle revelation.

 

"I know where your mother is, Diane, recognised you. It turns out it's a tiny fucking world. You've got a whole clan of well-meaning misfits and criminals waiting to give you a home back in Emmerdale. I think it might be best if I ask Diane to set up a meeting between you and your mum. I'm sure you'll be wanting to go and stay with your family, now that you know where they are located. It would be good too, Gordon wouldn't expect it. What do you think? Sorry, to spring this on you but Leyla was talking about moving to get your temporary custody of Liv pushed up for her protection. I believe she was going to use the argument about me being a cop and being able to protect you both better if Liv was with us, but honestly having the two of you in Emmerdale with actual family would probably work too," Robert hated every word as it came out of his mouth. He didn’t want this, didn’t want to send Aaron away, where he wouldn’t be able to look out for him.

It was the right thing to do, and Robert would suck it up if it meant that Aaron was safe and happy.

"I love you. You're my family," Aaron pledged, trying to get Robert to believe him.

"You're just a child Aaron; you can't possibly know what love is," Robert argued, wanting this to be over already. He knew exactly what words to use to push Aaron away, but then Aaron was constantly surprising him. ‘Don't leave me,' he thought. ‘Don't let me push you away.'

“I'm not a child.  Just ask the government, I’m legally an adult, I stopped being a kid the moment Gordon raped me,” Aaron snarled obviously feeling more than a little pissed that Robert was treating him this way.  “You didn't think I was a child when your dick was buried balls deep in my ass.”

Robert winced.

He watched as Aaron paced the floor of the small room. Aaron punched his fist into the wall and turned as if to leave.

Robert couldn't do it; he couldn't let Aaron just go without making sure everything was in place to keep him safe from harm. "I didn't mean it; please stay. Please, I need to know that you're safe," he knew he was begging, but he needed Aaron to stay.

"I'm not going anywhere, Robert. I'm not the one running from us," Aaron snapped out. Finally, relief filled Robert when Aaron sat in the ugly blue visitor's chairs and curled up making himself comfortable. He shut his eyes, effectively shutting Robert out.

Robert deserved it.

He just didn’t expect it to hurt so much.

 

Not sure what woke him, Robert reached for his gun before he remembered that he was in the hospital. Aaron! Gordon had Aaron!

No, Aaron was safe. Still curled up in the chair only now he was wrapped up in a blanket someone must have given him. A nurse probably.

Robert didn't much care what had woken him; he was content to lay here watching Aaron sleeping peacefully, safe and sound.

No, not peacefully he quickly discovered when Aaron called out, “No Daddy!  Please don’t hurt him!”

“Aaron!” he called out. “Aaron wake up!"

Aaron sat up fast, too fast, he started to fall out of the chair. Righting himself before it was too late, Aaron settled back into the chair and gave Robert his attention. "You alright?" he asked.

“I think that’s my line,” Robert said with a grimace. “Someone told you? Pete?”

Aaron made a face and shook his head. “Your boss, but it should have been you. What on earth were you thinking, Robert?”

"I'm sorry, I fucked up. I wanted to put Gordon behind bars where he couldn't hurt you anymore, where he couldn't hurt Liv or anyone else for that matter. I made a mistake, and now he knows where you are. I'm so sorry Aaron," Robert said, the shame of his bad choices choking him.

“You almost fucking died, Robert!” Aaron yelled his cheeks red with anger.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I brought him back into your life," Robert said not sure what else he could say. So, this was it then. The thing that made Aaron leave him. "It's okay; I'm going to make sure that you’re safe.”

"For fuck's sake Robert, are you going to make sure you're safe too? Because you're the one he shot and you didn't bring him back into my life, he never really left me. I'd rather have you alive and safe than him behind bars anyway. He's not even worth your time let alone your life. Promise me you won't get shot again," Aaron said tears in his eyes.

"I would if I could," Robert said holding his hand out to Aaron. When Aaron took hold of his hand Robert made a decision; he'd been called selfish his whole life by his father, he was going to live up to the accusation. Fuck it; he was going to be a selfish bastard. "I can promise not to take stupid risks, not to lie to you and to always be in bed next to you when you wake up. If that is still what you want of course?"

"Don't be stupid," Aaron whispered, grabbing hold of Robert's face and slamming his mouth down over Robert's. "I love you, idiot."

 

"So, how fired am I?" Robert asked his boss when he came marching into Robert's hospital room a couple of hours later.

"Depends, where's the kid and when can we move him to a safe house?" Jimmy asked arms crossed across his chest. Robert knew he was going for authoritarian, but he wasn't pulling it off.

“Oh, sometime next never. Aaron is with me,” Robert said unable to not be amused by the facial expressions passing over Jimmy’s face in quick concession. He shouldn’t be taking so much pleasure in Jimmy’s displeasure, but then he’d always had a bit of a fetish of messing with his boss.

"With as in here in the hospital? No, that isn't what you mean, is it? Damn it, Robert I should fire you. Do you know how much paperwork I'm going to have to fill in because of you? I'm not gonna suspend or sanction you, but you will be on forced leave for at least six weeks, you got it?" Jimmy muttered waiting for Robert's agreement before stomping out of the room.

“Everything okay?” Aaron asked stepping back into the room.

“Yeah, forced leave conveniently timed to match my recovery and rehab time as prescribed by the surgeon," Robert said laughing finally and regretting it almost immediately when he felt his stitches pulling painfully.

“He’s a weird man,” Aaron suggested.

“Yep,” Robert said he had no intention of arguing. Jimmy was a weird nut, a good one more or less but weird for sure.

“The nurse said we can leave, she’s getting the paper work together,” Aaron said pulling an embarrassed face.

“What? Why the face?” he asked, feeling unsure of himself all of a sudden, what if Aaron had changed his mind and he didn’t want Robert anymore.

“I got a ten-minute lecture from your mum and nurse Betty about how under no circumstances am I allowed to take advantage of your weakened state and seduce you in case you tear you stitches open again,” Aaron muttered to the floor.

Robert started laughing. "Stepmother," he said when he caught his breath. "Oh ouch, hurts to laugh."

"Good! It's not funny!" Aaron argued, but one side of his mouth was tilting up.

“Do you think it would be alright if I did the seducing?” Robert asked smiling.

“Shut up,” Aaron muttered again his cheeks tinged an attractive pink.

 

“Shh! God, you're noisy when you cum. Little ears down the hall remember? We don't want Liv waking up and wanting to know why the doors locked, do we?" Robert scolded, but there was humour in his voice. He was so fucking happy, it was kind of sickening, or at least Pete kept telling him so.

“I didn’t know that I would ever be able to do that with another person,” Aaron said with a shrug, stretching his limbs out and letting out a small moan when Robert ran his fingertips in the drying cum on Aaron’s stomach.

"What? Have an orgasm?" Robert asked feeling devilish. He should be satiated, they both should, but it was never enough, this thing between them, he would never get enough.

"Yeah, I mean I can get myself off, I've always been able to do that, even when I hated who I was because I thought it was because of what Gordon had done to me," Aaron said bringing Robert's fingers to his mouth and sucking them. Tasting himself on Robert's skin.

“How did you get past it?” Robert asked Aaron, still not used to the way Aaron could speak about Gordon in such a detached way even as the two of them laid here together like this, Robert couldn't even begin to understand. He made an effort though; he didn't ever want to shy away from Aaron's past or give him a reason to feel different. Robert just had to get used to it was all.

"To be able to accept that I'm gay? I didn't want to give him any more power over me; he'd already taken so much that wasn't his to take I wasn't about to allow him to take that too. Besides, I had a very active four-year old at the time to look after, and she wouldn’t let me give up or given in to my fears,” Aaron revealed with a small smile.

"We all need massive amounts of counselling," Robert suggested, and he knew it was the truth and something he'd asked Leyla to look into for him.

Aaron didn't disagree, and Robert knew that Aaron had questions about Robert's past, but his own was such a non-event compared to everything that Aaron had been through, but he was surprised when Aaron asked, "Will you ever tell me about what happened to you before you left Emmerdale? I mean you don't have to, but I want to know everything about you Robert, even the bits you hide from everyone else."

“I will but not now okay? Now I want to see if I can make you cum again just with my mouth this time,” Robert said taking Aaron’s cock into his mouth.

 

Robert woke up to find the bed cold and empty.  For a moment, Robert thought that Aaron had taken off while he was sleeping, but then he saw the figure lying on the floor in front of his bedroom door.  The symbolic gesture involved in Aaron’s position of protection made Robert’s heart ache for the young man who’d been forced to grow up too fast. A witness statement in Gordon’s case file had mentioned how Aaron used to sleep in front of Liv’s door to protect her from unwanted visitors.

Robert wasn’t sure who Aaron thought he was protecting him from but it just made him love Aaron all the more.

Grabbing the blankets and pillows from the bed, Robert joined Aaron on the floor.  It wasn't the most comfortable of beds, and he was sure his body would make him regret it in the morning, but Robert couldn't leave Aaron alone on the floor, and he didn't have the heart to wake him.

 

“Go back to sleep,” Robert groaned stretching the kinks out of his back.

“Nightmare? Why are you on the floor?” Aaron asked moving so he was curled up against Robert.

Robert grunted an affirmative. “Because you are,” Robert replied as if it made all the sense in the world.

“Yeah, well I wasn’t shot a couple of weeks ago. Come on let's get back into the bed," Aaron suggested helping Robert up and rubbed the kinks out of his boyfriend's back as they made their way back to the big comfy bed that was going to waste.

"Vic sent me an email. The old mill cottage that my dad used to own is for sale. Maybe, I could take you to see it?" Robert asked quietly, once they were back in bed. "He knows where we live, Aaron. Eventually, he's going to come after you or Liv; we should leave and go to Emmerdale," Robert wasn't sure who he was trying to convince, Aaron of himself.

"No more running Robert, I've done enough of it to last me a life time," Aaron said brushing a kiss over the bandages on Robert's chest.

“So, let's not run then, let's go home to Emmerdale, together," Robert suggested one more time, but he knew he was wasting his breath.

Aaron tilted his head on Robert’s chest so he could look into Robert’s eyes. “Emmerdale isn’t my home, you are.”

Robert couldn’t resist the temptation of Aaron’s mouth. Kissing Aaron the way he’d dreamt about in the past.

"You know we once lived in a barn for six months, it had been converted to a flat, but it was still a barn. Let me enjoy this luxury, Robert,” Aaron said settling his head back down onto Robert’s chest.

Robert scoffed, turning off the light, “You could care less about luxury.”

“Maybe, but I’m not ready yet,” Aaron confessed in the dark.

“Okay,” Robert replied, holding Aaron tight in his arms. “For now.”

 

Robert was pleased to wake up without a nightmare chasing him to consciousness, but he was less than impressed to wake up to a cold spot in the bed next to him and Aaron missing.  Robert couldn't help the wave of fear that rolled over him, but it was short lived because sounds of life were echoing off the walls. The little girl laughter was a welcome sound as it grabbed hold of Robert's heart and led him into the kitchen.

The sight that greeted him warmed his heart and brought a smile to his face. There was flour dusting almost every surface and Liv’s little face too.

“We’re making Madeleines!”

“Sounds delicious,” Robert said picking her up and walking over to where Aaron was standing at the counter wearing only a pair of low slung pyjama pants and a pair of oven mitts.

"No fair," he whispered against the side of Aaron's face, before pressing a kiss to his naked shoulder. "I love you. I missed you."

"I love you too," Aaron said pressing his forehead to Robert's.

"I love you three and four!" Liv giggled.

"And we love you, Cookie," Robert said brushing a kiss on the top of her head.

 

"Adam rang while you were sleeping, he's going to let Pete take him home," Aaron said with a small smile.

“Yeah? That’s good,” Robert replied wanting nothing more than to take this man back to bed with him, but the little munchkin in his embrace meant that his wanting would have to wait.

“Robert! Do you like Madeleines?” Liv asked her sticky hands on his cheeks turn his attention to her.

“Depends,” he said with a quick grin, before nuzzling her neck with his stubbly cheeks making her giggle. “Do they taste as good as you? Nom Nom!”

 

Aaron joined her in laughter. “Come on, I think they’re ready,” Aaron said pulling the pan out of the oven and bringing it over to the kitchen table.

“I don’t think I’ve ever sat here at the kitchen table before,” Robert said putting Liv down on one of the chairs.

“Really?” Aaron asked surprised putting a glass of milk with a straw in it in front of Liv.

“Yeah, it was just me, wasn’t it?” Robert said quietly.

Aaron came around the table and wrapped his arms around Robert. “Not anymore,” Aaron said holding Robert in his arms. He knew it would take them a while to fit, to let go.

Aaron wondered if he could talk Robert in to quitting his job. No, he would never ask that of him, it was such a big part of him.

Robert was a rescuer. He’d rescued them, made them a family, loved them.

It was Aaron’s turn now he was going to rescue Robert right back.

 

**The end…for now.**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main Fanfic Title from the song 'All In' by Lifehouse.  
> Chapter Title from the song 'All In' by Lifehouse.

**Author's Note:**

> Main Fanfic Title from the song 'All In' by Lifehouse.  
> Chapter Title from the song 'Dare You To Move' by Switchfoot.


End file.
